Philip Y. Kao PhD thesis - Research@StAndrews:FullText

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Betsy and I were subject to Tacoma Pastures’s care plan, which was tailored to her
wishes and ‘needs.’ We were also subject to the tyranny of time. I had twenty-five
minutes to get Betsy out of bed in the morning, cleaned, changed, dressed, and
presentable for the dining room. Our routine was linked up with other care plans and
integrated into a larger system of monitoring and control. Not only was there a checklist
that each caregiver had to hand in by the middle of their shift to the head nurse, but after
taking care of each resident, the caregiver had to log on to a computer and chart what
they did and saw according to a set survey. Betsy and I were inscribed in an
organizational practice with rules and objectives, yet we found ways to express our
shared grievances. Short of throwing her faeces at us, Betsy was an expert at resistance.
She would rephrase our questions in new contexts, and would oftentimes hold firm to
her wheelchair when she did not want to go somewhere or do something. Her physical
strength was still intact and this allowed her to manage her space with stubbornness
and pride. Betsy would often stick her tongue out at me, and I would do the same to her.
She would laugh, and then with more persuasion and jokes, I would be able to convince
her to allow me to give her a shower. My joking with her was not intended as a taunt, but
rather as a way of conveying to her that I felt her frustration. My intuition tells me that
she knew this, because she allowed me to help her with things that she never allowed
other caregivers to do. Part of this joking and resistance on my part wasn’t so much
about gaining Betsy’s cooperation, but was rather an instance of self-demeaning. I often
found (with much disappointment and surprise) that I was impatient, frustrated and
overly physical with my residents. I was disgusted at myself, and when I was confronted
with being just a human, another regular caregiver, the abject nature of this led me to
champion Betsy’s rebellions. Not only did I sympathize with Betsy, but I also lived
vicariously through her, especially when she told off the management with great vigour
and conviction.
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