A prolific painter of portraits before and after the French Revolution ...

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ch07.qxd 12/2/04 11:59 AM Page 343 explaining: the writing process 343 As was to become typical in hair-coloring ads, the age of the model was a good ten years younger than the typical product user. The model is in her early thirties (witness the age of the child), too young to have gray hair. This inspirational motif was picked up later for other Clairol products: “If I’ve only one life . . . let me live it as a blonde!” “Every woman should be a redhead . . . at least once in her life!” “What would your husband say if suddenly you looked 10 years younger?” “Is it true blondes have more fun?” “What does he look at second?” And, of course, “The closer he gets, the better you look!” But these slogans for different brand extensions only work because Miss Clairol had done her job. She made hair coloring possible, she made hair coloring acceptable, she made at-home hair coloring—dare I say it— empowering. She made the unique into the commonplace. By the 1980s, the hairdresser problem had been long forgotten and the follow-up lines read, “Hair color no natural, they’ll never know for sure.” Hook: “aspirational motif” Transition: “But” Hook: “these slogans” B ODY PARAGRAPHS Body paragraphs in expository writing are the main paragraphs in an essay, excluding any introductory, concluding, or transition paragraphs. They often contain the following features: • Topic sentence: To promote clarity and precision, writers often use topic sentences to announce the main ideas of paragraphs. The main idea should be clearly related to the writer’s thesis. A topic sentence usually occurs early in the paragraph (first or second sentence) or at the end of the paragraph. • Unity: To avoid confusing readers, writers focus on a single idea for each paragraph. Writing unified paragraphs helps writers—and their readers— concentrate on one point at a time. • Coherence: To make their writing flow smoothly from one sentence to the next, writers supplement their shaping strategies with coherence devices: repeated key words, pronouns referring to key nouns, and transition words. The following body paragraphs from James Twitchell’s “Miss Clairol’s ‘Does She . . . Or Doesn’t She?’ ” illustrates these features. The second sentence in the first paragraph is the topic sentence for the first paragraph—and the second paragraph as well.That topic sentence focuses our attention on the process of “automatic color tinting.” These two paragraphs have unity because they keep the focus on the “automatic” process of hair tinting. The two paragraphs also achieve coherence through the use of transitions and repeated key words and ideas. PROFESSIONAL COPY—NOT FOR RESALE
ch07.qxd 12/2/04 11:59 AM Page 344 344 Chapter 7 explaining Topic sentence Coherence & repeated key words Transitions The copy block on the right is all business and was never changed during the campaign. The process of coloring is always referred to as “automatic color tinting.” Automatic was to the fifties what plastic became to the sixties, and what networking is today. Just as your food was kept automatically fresh in the refrigerator, your car had an automatic transmission, your house had an automatic thermostat, your dishes and clothes were automatically cleaned and dried, so, too, your hair had automatic tinting. However, what is really automatic about hair coloring is that once you start, you won’t stop. Hair grows, roots show, buy more product . . . automatically. The genius of Gillette was not just that they sold the “safety razor” (they could give the razor away), but that they also sold the concept of being clean-shaven. Clean-shaven means that you use their blade every day, so, of course, you always need more blades. Clairol made “roots showing” into what Gillette had made “five o’clock shadow.” DRAFTING Before you begin drafting, reconsider your purpose and audience. What you explain depends on what your audience needs to know or what would demonstrate or show your point most effectively. As you work from an outline or from an organizing strategy, remember that all three questions—what, how, and why—are interrelated. If you are writing about causes, for example, an explanation of what the topic is and how the causes function may also be necessary to explain your subject clearly. As you write, balance your sense of plan and organization with a willingness to pursue ideas that you discover as you write. While you need to have a plan, you should be ready to change course if you discover a more interesting idea or angle. REVISING ‘‘ I wish he would explain his explanation. ’’ — LORD BYRON, POET As you revise your explaining essay, concentrate on making yourself perfectly clear, on illustrating with examples where your reader might be confused, and on signaling the relationship of the parts of your essay to your reader. Guidelines for Revision • Review your purpose, audience, and genre. Is your purpose clear to your target audience? Should you modify your chosen genre to appeal to your audience? PROFESSIONAL COPY—NOT FOR RESALE
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