A prolific painter of portraits before and after the French Revolution ...

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explaining:
the writing process
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self! As my weight plummeted, my circulation grew increasingly worse. My
hands, feet, lips, and ears took on a bluish-purple tint, and I was constantly
freezing cold. My hair started to fall out and my whole body took on a very
skeletal appearance. My eyes appeared to have sunken into my face, and my
forehead, cheekbones, and chin protruded sharply. My wrists were the largest
part of my entire arm, as were my knees the widest part of my legs. My pants
rubbed my hips raw because I had to wear my belts at their tightest notch
to keep them up. I would force myself to vomit as soon as possible if I was
forced to eat. The enamel on my teeth started to be eaten away by the acid
in the vomit, and my lips cracked and bled regularly. I stopped menstruating
completely because I was not producing enough estrogen. Instead of
improving my skills as a dancer and a gymnast, I drastically reduced them
because I was so weak. One time, while executing a chain of back handsprings,
I broke all five fingers on one hand and three on the other because
my bones had become so brittle. My doctor realized the serious danger I
was in and told me I either had to see a psychologist or be put in the hospital.
I chose to see a psychologist, and she helped me sort out the emotional
aspects of anorexia, which in turn solved the physical problems.
The emotional problems associated with anorexia nervosa are equally
disastrous to the victim’s health. Self-deception, lying, and depression are
three examples of the emotions and actions an anorexic often experiences.
During my entire bout with anorexia, I deceived myself into thinking I had
complete control over my body. Hunger pains became a pleasant feeling, and
sore muscles from overexercising just proved to me that I still needed to lose
more weight. When my psychologist showed me pictures of girls that were
of normal weight for my age group, they honestly looked obese to me. I
truly believed that even the smallest amount of food would make me extremely
fat.
Another problem, lying, occurred most often when my parents tried to
force me to eat. Because I was at the gym until around eight o’clock every
night, I told my mother not to save me dinner. I would come home and
make a sandwich and feed it to my dog. I lied to my parents every day about
eating lunch at school. For example, I would bring a sack lunch and sell it
to someone and use the money to buy diet pills. I always told my parents
that I ate my own lunch. I lied to my doctor when he asked if I was taking
an appetite suppressant. I had to cover one lie with another to keep from
being found out, although it was obvious that I was not eating by looking
at me.
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PROFESSIONAL COPY—NOT FOR RESALE