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about the relationship's value. It is not so easy, then, to be<br />
certain about opposite feelings of love and the desire to be<br />
<strong>with</strong> the partner. Unfortunately, due to this inability to feel<br />
sure about his or her true feelings, the sufferer may decide<br />
to just give up on the relationship.<br />
Other possible reasons for the sufferer not to make efforts<br />
to reconcile are pride, embarrassment, shame, guilt and<br />
other feelings. The sufferer may feel that due to his or her<br />
actions, he or she does not deserve the partner. Another<br />
possibility is the assumption that the partner is upset and<br />
does not want to be <strong>with</strong> the sufferer any longer.<br />
This presents the basis for the question of when and how<br />
to communicate <strong>with</strong> the sufferer. If the parter wants to get<br />
back together, he or she will need to confirm that this is<br />
possible. If the sufferer is not communicating, it will be up<br />
to the partner to engage conversation.<br />
The partner should not do this right away. Give things<br />
time to calm down, and wait before trying to reestablish<br />
communication. This usually means a few days, but sometimes<br />
longer durations are needed.<br />
It is important that this does not turn into “badgering” or<br />
otherwise overwhelm the sufferer. Respect for personal<br />
space is necessary. Remember that you need to avoid pushing<br />
the sufferer into further doubt.<br />
The ideal way of handling this is to be open to the sufferer<br />
and help him or her feel like they can talk to you. Be sure<br />
to let him or her know that you still love them, and are not<br />
holding grudges against them. If the sufferer doesn't want<br />
to talk about it, don't insist.<br />
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