Sleeping-with-ROCD

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Chapter Ten: Overview and Surviving Therapy A lot of information has been covered in this book. This chapter will review the information in short form. Therapy can sometimes be equally or more challenging than dealing with ROCD untreated. This chapter will highlight some things one may expect during and after treatment. 168
When in an ROCD relationship, more patience and strength are needed than normal. It is understandable to feel lost sometimes. Not knowing what to do, what to say, or how to feel are frustrating circumstances. One's emotional strength is tested repeatedly, sometimes almost to the point of giving up and walking away. Many ask themselves why they stay. The answer is usually love. Many get frustrated, knowing that they don't deserve to live with the effects of ROCD. Many may dabble with the idea of leaving the relationship. Most don't because they know the real person behind this is wonderful, and the idea of hurting their partner (and themselves) is unthinkable. In chapter 1, you learned the identity of the monster that is ROCD. You gained insight to how it gets inside your partner's head and twists a good relationship beyond recognition. You also learned why your partner does some of the things he or she does. You may have gained some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Knowing what you are up against is important for knowing how to deal with it. The doubts, confusion, and frustration that you may have felt in the course of this relationship may now be replaced by understanding, and an ability to see past offenses. It may still be hard, but knowing what ROCD is should be helpful in getting through rough times without feeling lost or confused. In chapter 2, you learned that OCD is behind ROCD, and that you are not dealing with something that hasn't been seen before. You gained insight into OCD, its many manifestations, and, perhaps, how it appears in your relationship. This should help by giving you comfort in knowing 169
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Copyright© 2008 by D. M. Kay All R
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Since the responses take place in t
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Chapter Six: Getting Your Partner T
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For Marty- May you find your freedo
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Chapter One: What is Relationship O
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form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disord
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ferer. This person is basing his or
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The person may imagine circumstance
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“That's not what I meant”, “T
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must end the relationship because s
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has no way of knowing the differenc
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Chapter Two: Signs of Obsessive-Com
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One of most telling signs of OCD wa
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ship. We did eventually break up, b
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that the threat is gone is unable t
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tinued. Other common areas are the
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experienced the need to knock to en
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Habit Control Disorders ADHD (Atten
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Perfectly in Control Another disord
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Chapter Three: What causes Obsessiv
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Part One: OCD and One's Environment
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tion. This can develop into OCD by
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are labeled as bad, providing groun
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Much of my recollection of my child
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would do. I only told her I must've
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Strictness in parental upbringing i
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is superior to others, and other un
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Crimes involving children Work-rela
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Part Two: OCD on the Brain? Neurolo
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develops instinctive responses to t
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ing, because bad feelings are all h
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sending of signals. The cingulum, o
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The frontal lobe is where rational
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ecognition is sent to the fear fact
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Chapter Four: Don't be a Victim Peo
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or healthy. We have little control
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out something wrong, my response wa
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give it undue consideration. Avoid
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You don't need to hear those things
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one week, not the next, and love ag
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Trouble dealing with other stress,
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situation quickly. This means walki
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They want to help, so they give you
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own. It is true that most of us alr
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Many partners involved in ROCD rela
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has little control of ROCD. Keep th
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The emphasis is on reactions charac
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cycle, you may avoid a breakup. Sin
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Fortunately, it is these complicati
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about the relationship's value. It
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to continue these cycles. Intervent
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NOTE: In chapters 4 and 5, there su
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Letters, emails, texts, or voice me
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A journal is also helpful for the p
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ner to absorb the fact that they ha
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As long as the partner allows this
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something. Obviously, with ROCD, th
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You can tell him or her that this h
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It's up to YOU For therapy to be ef
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mental health professional and rece
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Page 184 and 185: National Institute of Mental Health
Page 186 and 187: Modell, J.G., Mountz, J.M., Curtis,
Page 188 and 189: ogy 5(6) p. 260-266 (2003) Placidi,
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