Falconer+-+John+Cheever

Falconer 79
you outside the infirmary.” He was gone. “Don’t he love you no
more?” asked Tiny. “Well, if he don’t love you no more it’s a
weight off my shoulders. You’re really a nice guy, Farragut. I like
you, but I got no use for him. He’s blown half the population and
he’s hardly begun. Last week, the week before last—I can’t
remember—he did this fan dance on the third tier. Toledo told me
about it. He had this piece of newspaper pleated, you know, like a
fan and he kept switching it from his cock to his asshole and doing
this dance. Toledo said it was very disgusting. Very disgusting.”
Farragut tried to imagine this and couldn’t. What he felt was that
Tiny was jealous. Tiny had never experienced the love of a man.
Tiny was insecure. He made out his sick-call slip, put it between
the bars and went to bed.
The waiting room at the infirmary was full and he and Jody stood
outside where no one could hear them. “Now, listen,” Jody said.
“Now, before you get upset listen to me. Don’t say nothing until I
stop talking. I quit the university yesterday. Now, don’t say
nothing. I know you’re not going to like it because you got this
father image thing about me being a big success in the world, but
wait until I tell you my plan. Don’t say anything. I said don’t say
anything. Graduation is planned. Nobody but us in the school
knows what’s going to happen, but you will in a few days. Listen to
this. The cardinal, the cardinal of the diocese, is going to come
here in a helicopter and present the diplomas to the graduating
class. I’m not shitting you and don’t ask me why. I guess the
cardinal’s some kind of a relation to somebody in the university,
but it’ll be great publicity and that’s what’s going to happen. Now,
one of the dudes in the class is the chaplain’s assistant. His name is
DiMatteo. He’s a very close friend to me. So he’s in charge of all
those dresses they wear on the altar, you know. So what he’s got is
a red one, in my size, a perfect fit. He’s going to give it to me. So
when the cardinal comes there’ll be a lot of confusion. So I’ll hang
back, hide in the boiler room, get into my red dress, and when the
cardinal celebrates mass I’ll get my ass on the altar. Listen. I know