The information book - Paediatric Integrated Cancer Service

Brothers and sisters of a child who have cancer are likely to find it a
difficult time. Some siblings are able to cope with the extra challenges that the
illness brings to the family and learn something positive from the experience.
But others find it very difficult to cope. They may feel anger, fear, jealousy or
sadness which may result in acting-out behaviour, withdrawal, anxiety about
their own health, and difficulty at school both academically and socially.
They may even feel guilty that their sibling is sick.
Strategies that may help you support the siblings of your sick child include:
• It is a good idea to have a trusted relative or friend who comes specifically
to see the other children regularly.
• Remind family and friends to ask about and visit the other children.
• Ensure that the kinder / school is aware of their brother / sister’s sickness.
• Request a buddy system to support the well child. For example, a class
teacher might check on the child each day. The teachers may make sure
that the child knows who to talk to at school if he / she is feeling upset.
• Ensure that the well children have contact with a trusted adult friend outside
the immediate family who they can talk to about their worries. Often children
do not want to add to your stress by admitting that they are worried or upset
as well.
• Ensure that the siblings are included in the treatment plan where possible
and appropriate. Often the unknown is more scary than the known. It may
be possible for siblings to spend some time with their brother or sister
while they are in hospital and they may be able to come up with ideas for
entertainment.
• Ensure that the siblings are able to access age-appropriate child-friendly
information about your child’s cancer. If you are unsure what information is
available, talk to your Nurse Coordinator or social worker. They will be able
to discuss relevant resources with you.
• If possible ensure that you have a regular special time with each sibling
where they can discuss anything that might be on their mind. This time
does not need to be long. Just make clear that you are there for the sibling
and understand that it can be difficult to be a brother / sister of a child with
cancer.
• Where possible ensure that the sibling / s have time for normal activities.
Reassure them that it is okay to play and feel happy.
Living with cancer Sec.3:25
Updated March 2011