Merging Ethiopian Wise-Counsel Mediation and Facilitative ...

2 3456Figures 2 and 3In pictures 2 and 3, the mediator talks with the conflicting parties. Both parties nowopen their fists and you can see kollo pieces in their hands. This step of the mediationcan be done in individual sessions.What does it mean?Using grounding questions and other communication skills, the mediator intervenesto help each party open up (open the fist). The mediator helps the party focus oninterests, needs and fears (kollo pieces) rather than on demands or positions. Nowthe party can better see and understand his own interests, which is the first steptowards understanding the other party. This self-clarification is the precondition forthe next step: the change of perspective.Figures 4 and 5The three persons sit together in a triangle arrangement, with the mediator sittingbetween the two parties. Now both parties look at each other. Their facial expressionsare relaxed and they even look into each other’s eyes and smile faintly. Withthe kollo on their palms, they hold their open hands towards each other and explainsomething about their kollo pieces to each other. In picture 5 they even exchangepieces of kollo.What does it mean?The parties are now ready to talk to each other and explain their formerly-hidden interests,emotions, needs and fears (their different kollo pieces). They are also ready to listen attentively,to understand and to acknowledge the other party. A change of perspective can takeplace now.Figure 6The parties hug each other.What does it mean?After the parties are able to understand each other and to change their perspectives,they are ready to find a solution that benefits both sides (win-win-solution).However, we must keep in mind that to understand doesn’t necessarily mean toagree. To understand only means to respect that things look different from the otherparty’s point of view. In other words, “There are always a 100 good reasons for even‘bad’ behaviour.” At the end of the mediation process, the parties agree on a sustainablesolution and improve or even restore their relationship. The conflict is solved.44 Mediation Trainer’s Manual