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Merging Ethiopian Wise-Counsel Mediation and Facilitative ...

Merging Ethiopian Wise-Counsel Mediation and Facilitative ...

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The Process of Active Listening:The key to active listening is for mediators to express both verbally <strong>and</strong> nonverbally that they are listening to the messages of theconflict parties.Verbal reactions that show that you are paying full attention to the speaker’s words are:> > Making supportive <strong>and</strong> encouraging statements like: "Go on." "Then what happened?" "Yes,I underst<strong>and</strong>." "Tell us more." "Could you explain what happened?" etc.> > Expressing acknowledgment: "I underst<strong>and</strong>." "I see." "O.K."> > Acknowledging having received the message: "Hmm." "Aha." "Oh."> > Verifying the content: "Is it correct that you said…"; "You seem to be angry about…"> > Asking for clarification: "I am not sure I underst<strong>and</strong>…"; "Did you say...?" "Can you give me an example?"But DO NOT:> > Offer your thoughts or any interpretations, interrogate or give advice. Active listening is about listening only!> > Use stock phrases like: "It's not so bad." "Don't be upset." "You’re making a mountain out of amolehill." "Just calm down." Phrases like these convey judgment instead of underst<strong>and</strong>ing.> > Get emotionally hooked, angry, upset or argumentative.> > Let your values <strong>and</strong> biases interfere with what you underst<strong>and</strong> is being said.Keep an open mind <strong>and</strong> try to truly underst<strong>and</strong> the speaker.Nonverbal reactions that show the speaker that you are fully paying attention to his/her words are: 42> > Showing an open body posture.> > Making appropriate gestures such as nodding.> > Using an appropriate amount of eye contact.> > Using a positive tone of voice.Generally, active listening requires a desire to underst<strong>and</strong> another human being; an attitude of respect <strong>and</strong> acceptance, <strong>and</strong> genuineempathy for the speaker. It dem<strong>and</strong>s that mediators set aside their own thoughts <strong>and</strong> agendas, suspend judgment <strong>and</strong> try to underst<strong>and</strong>the speaker's points, emotions <strong>and</strong> attitudes. This is a difficult task <strong>and</strong> has to be practiced. 4342 See also Chapter III.6.3 The Importance of Body Language in the <strong>Mediation</strong> Process, on page 62.43 This chapter is based on a h<strong>and</strong>-out used in the GIZ CPS inmedio series of mediation trainings in Ethiopia 2010-2011, which were compiledby inmedio <strong>and</strong> partly based on Niederberger von Wyl, J. (2009). Compare also Burgess, G. & Burgess, H. (Eds.) (2003).68 <strong>Mediation</strong> Trainer’s Manual

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