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Loss and Grief in Dementia

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Section 3<br />

3. Adjust<strong>in</strong>g to a new environment: this means adjust<strong>in</strong>g to a ‘new normal’ that has come about<br />

as a result of the loss experienced. This may mean liv<strong>in</strong>g with a person who is changed <strong>in</strong> some<br />

way <strong>and</strong> adapt<strong>in</strong>g to changes that br<strong>in</strong>gs or it may mean adjust<strong>in</strong>g to liv<strong>in</strong>g without the person<br />

if they have gone <strong>in</strong>to care or learn<strong>in</strong>g to live without the person after they have died. This can<br />

be challeng<strong>in</strong>g but it may also offer the bereaved person new opportunities.<br />

4. F<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>g a new emotional place for the person who has died: this <strong>in</strong>volves creat<strong>in</strong>g new<br />

ways of remember<strong>in</strong>g the person who has died, so that they cont<strong>in</strong>ue to be part of the bereaved<br />

person’s life (50).<br />

<strong>Grief</strong> does not stay still. People who are griev<strong>in</strong>g often cope by engag<strong>in</strong>g with <strong>and</strong> detach<strong>in</strong>g from<br />

their grief. This means that at times they will want to talk about their losses <strong>and</strong> th<strong>in</strong>k about their<br />

losses. At other times they need to be able to detach themselves from their loss <strong>and</strong> grief <strong>and</strong><br />

concentrate on other th<strong>in</strong>gs.<br />

As people make sense of their loss, they will move between the two str<strong>and</strong>s shown <strong>in</strong> the model<br />

below from Stroebe <strong>and</strong> Schut (56).<br />

<strong>Loss</strong> (<strong>Grief</strong>) Orientated<br />

the Griev<strong>in</strong>g process<br />

Restoration (Future) Orientated<br />

Cop<strong>in</strong>g<br />

with the<br />

<strong>Loss</strong><br />

Cop<strong>in</strong>g<br />

with my life<br />

now as a<br />

result of the<br />

loss<br />

<strong>Grief</strong> Work<br />

Intrusion of grief<br />

Break<strong>in</strong>g/Cont<strong>in</strong>u<strong>in</strong>g/<br />

Relocat<strong>in</strong>g bonds/ties<br />

Denial/Avoidance of<br />

Restoration Changes<br />

Attend<strong>in</strong>g to life changes<br />

Do<strong>in</strong>g new th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

Distraction from <strong>Grief</strong><br />

Denial/avoidance of <strong>Grief</strong><br />

New roles/identities/<br />

relationships<br />

14<br />

<strong>Loss</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>Grief</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>Dementia</strong>

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