L. Marie Adeline- S.E.C.R.E.T

“Will I have to do anything … weird?”
Matilda laughed.
“No. Nothing weird, Cassie, unless that’s your thing.”
I laughed then, too, the uncomfortable laugh of someone past the point of no return.
“But what do I do? How does this work?”
“You don’t really have to do anything but say yes to the Committee,” she said,
glancing at her watch, “which, my goodness, is assembling as we speak.”
“The Committee?” Oh my God, what had I done? It was like I’d fallen down a deep
hole.
Matilda must have sensed my panic. She poured me a glass of water from the jug on
her desk.
“Here, Cassie, take a drink, and please try to relax. This is a good thing. A marvelous
thing, trust me. The Committee is simply a group of women, kind women, many of them
just like you, women who want to help. They recruit participants and design the
fantasies. The Committee makes your fantasies happen.”
“My fantasies? What if I don’t have any?”
“Oh, you do. You just don’t know it yet. And don’t worry. You will never have to do
anything you don’t want to do, nor will you ever be with anyone you don’t want to be
with. S.E.C.R.E.T.’s motto is: No judgments. No limits. No shame.”
The water glass shook in my hand. I took a big gulp and choked.
“S.E.C.R.E.T.?”
“Yes, that’s what our group is called. Each letter stands for something. But our whole
reason for being is liberation through complete submission to your sexual fantasies.”
I stared into the middle distance, trying to shake the image of Pauline with two men …
“Is this what Pauline did?” I blurted out.
“Yes. Pauline completed all ten steps of S.E.C.R.E.T., and now is living in the world,
fully, sexually alive.”
“Ten?”
“Well, technically there are nine fantasies. The tenth Step is a decision. You can either
stay in S.E.C.R.E.T. for one year, recruiting other women like you, training fantasy
participants, or helping other members facilitate fantasies. Or you can decide to bring
your sexual knowledge into your own world, perhaps into a loving relationship.”
Over Matilda’s right shoulder through the courtyard window, I could see more women
of various ages, colors and sizes ling by twos and threes through the gate. I could hear
them entering the lobby, laughing and chatting.
“Is that the Committee?”
“Yes. Shall we join them?”
“Wait. This is all moving a little too fast. I need to ask: if I say yes, what exactly
happens then?”
“Everything you want. Nothing you don’t,” she replied. “Yes or no, Cassie. It really is
that simple.”
My body was all in, but my mind nally freed itself from its temporary restraints and
unleashed its doubts.