L. Marie Adeline- S.E.C.R.E.T

out. My eyes met his in the mirror. The next thing I knew, everything was a blur of color
and rhythm, and I felt myself explode into his hands, the heat rushing through me, and
then the flood of relief.
“There it is, there it is,” he cooed, and without realizing it, I was pushing back on him
until we both reached the wall behind us, leaning against it to stay upright. Then, for no
real reason, I began to laugh.
“Thank you,” I said, still out of breath. I remembered my clothes, the reason I’d come
to the washroom to begin with. My soccer mom apparel was in a little pile on the oor
in front of the vanity.
“Guess you have to put those back on,” he said.
“I think so.”
And after planting one more kiss on my neck, he backed out the door and shut it
behind himself. My face in the mirror was ushed with air and life. I nished dressing,
then splashed more water on my face.
“You are doing this,” I whispered, smiling at myself in the mirror. “You did this. You
just gave a blowjob to a musical heartthrob, billboard topper, Grammy winner. And
then he just made you come in a bathroom.” At that thought, I quietly squealed into my
fists. Ahhh!
Fully dressed once again, my hair a sex-tossed mess, I reentered the dim kitchen. The
music was o. The pot was gone. So was the man. On the edge of the island was a small
Tupperware container with warm gumbo, a gold charm perched on top. I sat down on
the bar stool and just breathed and thought about what had happened.
A few moments later, Claudette came through the door.
“Cassie, your limo’s waiting. I hope you had a lovely stay with us,” she said with a
slight New Orleans drawl.
“Thank you, I did.” I clutched the charm to my chest, grabbed my Tupperware
container and was whisked out the side door of the Mansion and into the plush leather
seat of the limo.
As we drove along Magazine Street, I took in the scenery outside but was really
looking inward. I gripped the gold charm in the palm of my hand. Why had I always
been afraid of giving? What was my fear about? Feeling used, probably. Feeling like
giving would deplete me. But giving actually gave me satisfaction; it gave me pleasure
to please. I rolled down the window and let the wind cool my face while the gumbo
warmed my lap. This was the point of S.E.C.R.E.T., to get us to surrender the body to its
needs entirely, and to help others surrender too. Why had that seemed so dicult
before? I opened my palm and looked at the glowing gold charm, the word Generosity,
engraved in elegant script.
“Indeed,” I said out loud, as I secured the fourth charm to my bracelet.