Eatdrink #42 July/August 2013

62 www.eatdrink.ca
№ 42 | July/August 2013
the lighter side
Which Basket Case are You?
By SUE SUTHERLAND WOOD
With the long sultry days of
summer upon us, the tingly
allure of a day at the beach or a
road trip often beckons, usually
presenting itself as a spur-of-the-moment
notion to take advantage of good weather.
No matter who you are or where you’ve
lived, you likely have a picnic tradition:
perhaps childhood memories of a special
sandwich or the European habit of happily
spreading lunch out on a blanket anywhere
at all. Strong feelings exist around food and
as a result there are numerous picnic styles
— archetypes, if you will — that you may
recognize either in yourself, or in the person
you with whom you are dining al fresco.
The Picnic Masters — The person who
packs this lunch is definitely a find. (And a
kind hello to my brother if he’s reading this!)
A lightweight insulated bag unzips to reveal
tiny goat cheese tartlets with sundried tomatoes
and a chilled sangria made from crisp
local cider with fresh blueberries nodding in
the decorative jar; obviously, these people
never forget glasses. Blushing Muscat grapes
in tidy pre-cut bunches, precision-cubed
watermelon and ice cold potato salad vinaigrette
(mayonnaise might spoil) appear next,
followed by a tiny angel food cake. There are
triangles of toasted pita and a crock of homemade
hummus (dusted with rose paprika) for
those who are merely peckish.
The Hunger Gamer — This style is
sometimes seen amongst campers. Food has
to be provided — and it is — but the entire
affair has a kind of grisly desperation about
it. Tins of strange and odd smelling stews
may appear (politely decline anything with
a German Shepherd’s profile on the label)
and often utensils may be overlooked or just
deemed unnecessary. I once had a boyfriend
who brought a camping stove to our picnic
and went on to further impress me by gently
boiling quail eggs for a Salad Niçoise; however,
when he nimbly decanted the same egg
water into mugs for our tea (“saves time and
you’d never know”) I knew this particular
episode of Brideshead
would not be revisited.
The Romantic —
This style of eating
differs from The Picnic Master’s in its nod
to history and tradition. These are the softfocus
people who actually own wicker picnic
baskets with matching cutlery in the lid. They
can often be seen wearing large brimmed
straw hats, a vintage thermos flask looped
through two fingers. Cold cooked chicken,
tortière, crusty bread they purchased along
the way and fresh figs or raspberries will
be unpacked onto a cheery cloth. There’s
a lot of effort in this style — and never any
children. If done properly, onlookers assume
that someone on staff at Downton Abbey has
lovingly packed the whole thing up for them.
The Desperado — We’ve all been there.
In an effort to get out of the house, dull and
boring items of food are quickly assembled
and stowed into that old fashioned cooler
that lies waiting in the basement, chuckling
darkly to itself as we forget year after year that
it takes three burly men to lift it before there’s
even anything inside. Eerily flat peanut butter
sandwiches will soon float desperately in the
bottom — this cooler also leaks — amidst
bruised apples, granola bars that no one
really liked in their packed lunches either and
some cans of no-name cola that are poised
to explode. The sandwiches will be ritually
disposed of at a nearby bin (unless someone
feeds them to the seagulls, which never ends
well). Thank goodness for the french fry shack
where piping hot and reliably toothsome chips
can be purchased and sprinkled with salt and
malt vinegar. Harmony is restored once more.
Whatever style you choose to embrace,
be sure to take advantage of this fleeting,
golden time of year — because even a store
bought sandwich will taste far superior if
eaten under a willow tree..
SUE SUTHERLAND WOOD is a freelance writer who also
works in the London Public Library system. She lives in London with
her teenage sons and a floating population of dogs and cats.