The Duchy of Jerald
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Carol, My Wife From a Former Time<br />
So.<br />
Carol, my ex-wife-rich-lawyer surfaced, donated 100 bucks to my g<strong>of</strong>undme. I had just, by<br />
chance, finished reading A Shrink for Men by my favorite psychologist Tara, when it comes to<br />
the emotional fallout (devastation) <strong>of</strong> the lovely liars I have dated or married.<br />
Why do they lie? Well, they don’t want you to find out who or what they really are. <strong>The</strong> same<br />
reason why they curtail any real communication. So I fell in love with who they pretended to be,<br />
as I was supposed to. <strong>The</strong>n they get bored, and risk discovery, and leave. After having affairs,<br />
withholding sex, all the usuals, then blaming me for it, as they go out the door. Work on it, see a<br />
family therapist? No, I’ll commit suicide before I’ll reveal myself in any intimate or honest way.<br />
Oh.<br />
A fellow I have never met, an artist on the internet, bought a print, 850.00 then donated 500.00<br />
to my GoFundMe, and in comparison, here is my ex devaluing me, again, with a hundred dollar<br />
donation. It’s about her looking good, not about her helping me in any real way. She even sent it<br />
straight to my bank so she wouldn’t be seen supporting me, a further devaluation.<br />
I spent the money on a pedi-mani-haircut-cabrides. Paying others to pretend to care for me,<br />
with money that was used to pretend to care for me.<br />
Seemed right.<br />
Add a little REBT:<br />
What is the situation that you are upset about?<br />
Answer: So. Carol, my ex wife surfaced, donated 100 bucks to my g<strong>of</strong>undme<br />
What are the unhealthy negative emotions that you are experiencing?<br />
Answer: depression, shame, embarrassment, hurt<br />
What self-defeating behaviors would you like to change?<br />
Answer: exercise avoidance, withdrawal avoiding social contact<br />
What demand are you making about the situation?<br />
Answer: I must do well and win the approval <strong>of</strong> others or else I am no good. (Inflexible,<br />
Places unrealistic expectations on oneself, Over-concern with others’ opinion <strong>of</strong> oneself, Selfworth<br />
measured by achievement and popularity, Non-self-accepting)
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