The Duchy of Jerald

20's, and moved to Winnipeg. His former wife, he left at the Ashram, suffering from Parkinson's
disease, discarded and left behind, of little use to him.
Empathy, compassion, caring and love are the things they are pretending to have and of course
they are having none of it. Anxiety and hostility are what lurk behind that look of love.
On an institutional scale, it explains the different branches and sects of religion. All that
overvaluing (you know the words of God!) then undervaluing as the truth inevitably comes out
(no one does), and the fear and bitterness leading to the holy wars and lack of empathy, in the
child molestations, for example, then consequent dumping, going on. The movie Spotlight, a
true story, goes into more sordid detail about the institutional abuses of children on an epic scale.
Overvalue, *you are a true spiritual being* (there's no such thing), Undervalue *uh oh he saw
that anxious and hostile event* (you are getting to know who I really am), Dump *you are over
indulging in the senses by going to art school* (find ways to make it all your fault as you are
thrown out the door). True story, life at the Ashram.
So being vulnerable, due to recent loss and abuse, I am picked up in the coffee shop by a
beautiful woman who is searching for a codependent, as it turns out, to be a hired hand because it
looks like she is going to have Huntington's disease and will require quite a lot of care, in few
years. I'm in the market for a 'one true love' so this is what she sells me. She reveals the gene for
the upcoming disease after we 'fall in love' of course, when the hook is firmly set, with the
condition of, maybe it won't happen. Oh. Well fuck, the sex is abundant and varied (they bore
easily) she is charming, has lots of money so I can go to art school, likes cats, so ya let's roll the
disease dice and play house. When she inevitably dumped me, the family therapist who
deprogrammed me from narcissist relationships, at the hospital, described our union as a
business deal. Huh? Ya, relationships are unconditional, if there are conditions all over it, then
it's a business deal, a contract.
You broke the contract buddy, you asked for what you wanted, codependents don't have needs
fulfilled. Geez, get with the program or get out.
So here we are, you are a church going believer in Christ, and I'm not, well I am waiting for
evidence, yet we like each other for no particular reason, other than we just do. Albert Ellis, my
fav psychotherapist, puts it like this: Make your partners goals (for satisfaction which is the
purpose of life) almost as important as your own (Ellis, Making Intimate Connections, 2000).