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Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2019

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<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> ...with<br />

40<br />

Deadly<br />

Accurate<br />

Submitted by Jimbo<br />

A golfer set up his<br />

ball on the first tee,<br />

took a mighty swing<br />

and hit his ball into a<br />

clump of trees.<br />

He found his ball<br />

and saw an opening<br />

between two<br />

trees he thought he<br />

could hit through.<br />

He took another<br />

mighty swing with his<br />

3-wood and the ball<br />

hit a tree, bounced<br />

back, hit him on the<br />

forehead and killed<br />

him instantly.<br />

As he approached<br />

the gates of Heaven,<br />

St. Peter saw<br />

the golfer walking<br />

towards him in his<br />

golf attire and asked,<br />

“Are you a good<br />

golfer?”<br />

The golfer replied,<br />

“Got here in two,<br />

didn’t I?”<br />

Conversing<br />

Conifer<br />

Submitted by Jimbo<br />

A lumberjack went<br />

into a magic forest<br />

to cut a tree. Upon<br />

arrival, he started<br />

to swing at the tree,<br />

when it shouted,<br />

“Wait! I’m a talking<br />

tree!”<br />

The lumberjack<br />

grinned and said,<br />

“And you will dialogue.”<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>March</strong> <strong>2019</strong> 783-7039<br />

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Never hypothetically ask yourself if the person in front of you can go any slower,<br />

because the answer is yes.<br />

Did You Know? Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.<br />

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