Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2020

COUPLES / MARITAL UNITY
When two healthy
adults interact
When Greg and I work with married
couples in our respective practices,
we try to help them understand a
concept of marriage that moves
beyond the faulty 1 + 1 = 1 equation.
We call it the Healthy Marriage
Model. This model provides a
clearer picture of God’s eternal
design for marriage.
When two healthy adults build
a relationship, a new dynamic is
formed: the Interactive Space. This
is where their relationship can grow
and culminate in marriage. Within
this Interactive Space, the relationship
develops as the couple learns
more about each other by sharing
who they are, what they enjoy
and what they want to do in life. If
things seem good and they want
to go deeper still, they might discuss
their dreams and aspirations,
their passions and their sense of life
calling.
If the Interactive Space feels tense
or is filled with anger, or spouses
anticipate criticism, hurtful interactions
or other unpleasant experiences,
they’ll likely be apprehensive to enter.
If, however, the space is warm, cozy,
exciting, loving and pleasurable,
they’ll be far more likely to want to
engage with each other. They each
get to do their part to help create an
interactive environment they both
feel comfortable in and look forward
to spending time in.
The Interactive Space
needs maintenance
Over time, neglect of the Interactive
Space is where many couples
encounter trouble. Having initially
created a warm and vibrant space,
they ignore it, assuming it will
continue to grow on its own.
For a couple’s relationship to
continue thriving, spouses must
regularly enter the Interactive Space
together and invest time and energy
into keeping the relationship alive.
This is where they can cultivate the
friendship and a marriage they love.
If they don’t maintain the space, the
relationship may wither and die for
lack of attention.
When two healthy adults are
building a relationship with each
other and with God, they can also
experience a vibrant, shared spiritual
experience together. A couple
can invest in their spiritual intimacy
by turning their private times with
God into times where they interact
with God together. This can include
prayer, devotions, Bible study,
church and Sunday school attendance,
discussions about God and
their faith journeys and many other
rich opportunities that can deepen
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
June / July 2020