Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2020
It can be a struggle to raise a family while balancing your work life, social life and relationships. Focus on the Family magazine is here to help! Each complimentary issue delivers fresh, practical Biblical guidance on family and life topics.
It can be a struggle to raise a family while balancing your work life, social life and relationships. Focus on the Family magazine is here to help! Each complimentary issue delivers fresh, practical Biblical guidance on family and life topics.
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COUPLES / EVERYDAY MARRIAGE<br />
quick pecks<br />
and flirty texts<br />
Build strength in<br />
your marriage through<br />
loving routines<br />
BY DR. GREG SMALLEY<br />
I SOMETIMES FIND it difficult<br />
to c<strong>on</strong>nect with my wife, Erin,<br />
throughout <strong>the</strong> day. Not that she<br />
and I have drifted apart emoti<strong>on</strong>ally;<br />
it’s just that my brain is compartmentalized.<br />
When I’m at work . . .<br />
I’m thinking about work. So I’ve<br />
actually taped two little words to<br />
my computer m<strong>on</strong>itor—Text Erin—<br />
to remind me to c<strong>on</strong>nect with her<br />
throughout <strong>the</strong> workday.<br />
One day while I was at my computer,<br />
I noticed <strong>the</strong> note and<br />
grabbed my cellph<strong>on</strong>e to create a<br />
quick c<strong>on</strong>necti<strong>on</strong> with Erin. I started<br />
off <strong>the</strong> text thanking her for making<br />
breakfast. But <strong>the</strong>n I remembered<br />
that our kids all had activities that<br />
would leave us al<strong>on</strong>e toge<strong>the</strong>r for a<br />
few hours that evening.<br />
So I got specific about how<br />
we could spend our “al<strong>on</strong>e time”<br />
toge<strong>the</strong>r, hoping that my flirty text<br />
might set <strong>the</strong> mood for later <strong>on</strong>.<br />
After hitting send and putting<br />
my ph<strong>on</strong>e down, I started working<br />
again. In just a few sec<strong>on</strong>ds, I heard<br />
my ph<strong>on</strong>e vibrate. A new text from<br />
Erin!<br />
I quickly picked up <strong>the</strong> ph<strong>on</strong>e and<br />
just as quickly felt mortified. The text<br />
was from my boss!<br />
“Please tell me you meant this for<br />
Erin!” was his reply.<br />
I learned a valuable less<strong>on</strong> about<br />
making sure I’m texting my wife<br />
before sending out a flirty text!<br />
We all want and need to spend<br />
quality time with <strong>the</strong> people we<br />
love, and it’s especially important to<br />
spend time with our spouse. If we<br />
keep that core relati<strong>on</strong>ship str<strong>on</strong>g,<br />
it makes all <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r relati<strong>on</strong>ships<br />
around us str<strong>on</strong>ger.<br />
But as any athlete knows, building<br />
strength requires ritual: You need to<br />
run or swim or lift weights regularly.<br />
If you train <strong>on</strong>ly now and <strong>the</strong>n, you<br />
w<strong>on</strong>’t see results.<br />
Building strength in your marriage<br />
is a little like that. D<strong>on</strong>’t underestimate<br />
<strong>the</strong> power of daily rituals. Those<br />
pecks <strong>on</strong> <strong>the</strong> cheek and saying “I<br />
love you” are important for building<br />
a str<strong>on</strong>g, lasting relati<strong>on</strong>ship. O<strong>the</strong>r<br />
rituals include:<br />
• praying and reading <strong>the</strong> Bible<br />
toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
• going <strong>on</strong> walks toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
• doing chores toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
• cooking meals toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
And, of course, you can text or call<br />
your spouse during <strong>the</strong> day just to<br />
check in. You’ll find that over time,<br />
<strong>the</strong>se regular moments—daily rituals—streng<strong>the</strong>n<br />
your love. •<br />
Dr. Greg Smalley is vice president of Marriage<br />
and <strong>Family</strong> Formati<strong>on</strong> at <str<strong>on</strong>g>Focus</str<strong>on</strong>g> <strong>on</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>Family</strong>.<br />
STOCKSY.COM / LUMINA<br />
22<br />
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY<br />
<strong>June</strong> / <strong>July</strong> <strong>2020</strong>
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