Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2020

MARITAL UNITY / COUPLES
their intimate relationship with God.
This makes the Healthy Marriage
Model math become 1 + 1 = 3. A husband
and a wife will experience true
unity only when they give their
marriage attention and care.
The hard work pays off
Jenni and I have come a long way
since that day in the park when I
didn’t appreciate our different perspectives.
A few years ago, the Lord
helped us overcome a common
source of tension: planning our
vacations. Jenni and I have very
different ideas about what an ideal
vacation is. Jenni loves to go and do
and see as much as possible. Now, I
also love to travel and see new things,
but when we did vacations Jenni’s
way, I came home exhausted, needing
a vacation from our vacation!
By contrast, my ideal vacation
is to find a beautiful, scenic beach
where I can relax, sun and swim,
with no agenda or timelines.
Our differing ideas about vacations
became fertile ground for
constant conflict in our marriage.
But God had a better plan: unity.
Jenni and I learned to hear each
other’s hearts and better manage
conflict. After talking about how we
each felt about vacations, what each
other’s preferences were and why we
felt that way, we decided to try to create
a vacation that we could both love.
As a result, we strategically planned
our road trip to Yellowstone and
Grand Teton National Parks in a way
we had never done before: day on,
day off, day on, day off. We packed
“on” days full of sightseeing and experiences
that would leave us fulfilled
and exhausted. On the “off” days
we relaxed and recharged by sitting
around a body of water and just existing
at a slower pace.
LISTEN NOW!
Listen to our broadcast as Dr. Greg
Smalley discusses how cherishing
the differences between you and
your spouse can bring true unity in
your marriage.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
In the end, we both agreed it was
the best vacation ever! We discovered
that when we allow our differences
to blend, we find ways of operating
as a couple that are far better than
either of us would have found alone.
We now know that we really are better
together. •
Robert Paul is the vice president of the <strong>Focus</strong>
on the Family Marriage Institute. Dr. Greg
Smalley is the vice president of Marriage and
Family Formation at <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family. This
article is adapted from their new book, 9 Lies
That Will Destroy Your Marriage.
June / July 2020 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 15