Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2020

choose to believe the best
Replacing negative thoughts about your spouse
with positive ones can bless your marriage
BY LAUREN BLASCHKE / ILLUSTRATION BY IRATXE LÓPEZ DE MUNÁIN
THE KIDS WERE DOWN
FOR BED, so my husband, Byron,
and I were alone when our conversation
took an unexpected turn.
“Sometimes I don’t think you’re
believing the best about me when
it comes to Wesley,” Byron said. “I
don’t think you fully trust me.”
My first response was denial. I said
of course I trusted him to treat my
son the same way he treated his two
biological children, Ethan and Layla.
But then he gave several examples
where I had challenged his
parenting decisions. He continued,
“I’m asking you to believe the best
about this situation and me.”
Several times over the next couple
of days, I asked myself, What do
I really believe about Byron?
During these pensive sessions, I
wrote out some thoughts I’d had
about him that stemmed from
fear that Byron wouldn’t love Wes
because he’s not Wes’ bio dad.
Deep down, I knew these thoughts
weren’t accurate, so I prayed and
went to work battling them. In
addition to writing out the ugly
thoughts, I also penned what I
would instead choose to believe
about Byron.
Thought: Byron forgets about Wes.
Truth: I would never forget about
Ethan and Layla. Byron would never
forget about Wes.
Thought: At bedtime, Byron
spends more time with Ethan and
Layla than with Wes.
Truth: Byron isn’t going to show
favoritism. He’s going to give our
children exactly what they need at
bedtime. The Lord will guide us daily.
Thought: When Byron came
home yesterday, he hugged Wes last
on purpose.
Truth: Byron wouldn’t want Wes
to feel any less loved than Ethan and
Layla, as I’d never want Ethan and
Layla to feel any less loved than Wes.
One evening soon afterward, Ethan
and Layla were at their mom’s house.
Byron called and said, “I need to finish
up a work project. I’ll be home late.”
Immediately my mind began, He’s
coming home late because it’s just
Wes and me tonight. He’d be on time if
Ethan and Layla were here.
Almost as immediately, I caught
myself. No. He’s working late because
of this project. It has nothing to do with
who is and who isn’t home. I exhaled a
sigh of faith.
One lie caught. One battle of the
mind won. One step of hope in believing
the best about Byron with God’s
grace holding us together. •
Lauren Blaschke is a freelance writer from The
Woodlands, Texas.
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
June / July 2020