Happiful July 2020

encourage you to love yourself
– and shows that you know you
deserve that positivity in your life.
Keep your biggest fans close – the
people who respect you, the people
who see your potential, and the
people who encourage you to fulfil
it. Listen to what these people love
about you – instead of dismissing
their compliments, take note of
them. Try to see yourself through
the eyes of people who love and
support you.
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO,
RATHER THAN WHAT YOU CAN’T
Everybody has abilities and
limitations, but this can seem
even more prevalent when you
have an illness or disability. Try
to focus on the things that you
can do, rather than what you
can’t. Focus on your ability to
see colours, or to breathe fresh
air, to make someone else smile,
or to dance (even if you’re not
very good at it!). Remember that
hobbies don’t always have to bring
you money or ‘success’. Figure out
what it is that you enjoy doing,
rather than what others enjoy
doing, and do more of it.
FORGIVE YOURSELF
It’s easy to blame or criticise
ourselves when we make mistakes.
We often punish ourselves for
forgetting to take medication, or
not drinking enough water, or
other choices that can negatively
impact us, especially with an
illness or disability. It’s important
to remember that nobody is
perfect. To be human is to make
mistakes. Forgive yourself as you
would forgive those you love.
CULTIVATE A POSITIVE
SPACE ONLINE
It’s well known that social media
can have a negative impact on
our relationship with ourselves.
When you’re only seeing people’s
highlight reels, it’s often easy
to falsely believe they’re living
a perfect life, so it’s no wonder
that a survey carried out by
disability charity Scope found
that 62% of social media users
feel inadequate when comparing
themselves to other people’s
posts. But social media can
be an incredibly positive and
supportive community, too – it’s
just about ensuring you take out
the toxicity, and instead fill your
feed with inspiration.
Unfollow social media
accounts that make you feel
bad about yourself, and instead
follow those that encourage
or entertain you. Some great
accounts that actively encourage
self-love on Instagram include:
@bodyposipanda for body
positive inspiration;
@katieabey for positive self-love
slogans; @thetummydiaries,
@bryonyehopkins and
@sophjbutler for a dose of
realness, embracing scars, and
food and exercise with an illness
or disability. And of course,
@daily__hedgehog, because who
can’t learn a bit of self-love from
those spiky little creatures?
PRACTISE SELF-CARE
Practising self-care is not only
great for your health, but also
great for self-love. Loving yourself
is easier when you actively take
care of yourself, and nourish your
wellbeing. Although, everyone
has different needs, so self-care
can take various forms. It might
be eating healthily or indulging
in foods that you enjoy, getting
an early night or going out with
friends, going for a run or going
for a lie down. Listen to what your
body needs, and honour it as much
as you can.
CREATE BOUNDARIES
Creating boundaries in our
work and social lives is vital to
our mental and physical health.
Despite this, not all of us do it.
Many of us feel guilty for saying no
to a work task, or a social event –
especially people with an illness or
disability, as many of us don’t want
to be seen as incapable. But it is
important to listen to your physical
and emotional needs. Setting limits
to protect yourself and your energy
from harm is an important part of
loving yourself.
Whenever you need a little
reminder of the importance of
self-love, think of this quote from
Buddha: ‘You, yourself, as much
as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love and affection.’
Anna is a disability activist, and a
freelance writer specialising in health
and wellbeing.