Welcome to The Club v3.3 Summer 2023

Welcome to ...
THE Club
Don’t let old age get you down - it’s too hard to get back up!
Welcome to ...
Summer 2023
Sexy. Sassy. Spectacular.
For a good time,
call Lola's Lounge!
!
Downtown at 110 CHRISTINA ST.
SARNIA 519.336.8088
We want your
photos, stories
& anecdotes
showcasing
Sarnia-Lambton!
Welcome to ...
THE
CLUB
Send them to
info@welcometotheclub.ca
We also welcome your ideas,
comments or questions.
By Brian A. Keelan, Sarnia
Flowers for Ethyl
Ethyl told her husband George
that one of the things she
regretted about their 60 years
of marriage was the fact that he
never bought her flowers.
George said, “To tell you the
truth sweetheart, I never knew
you sold flowers.”
Senior dental issues
As they are getting into bed,
80-year-old Archie asks his wife,
“Did you brush your teeth, dear?”
She looks at him and smiles,
“Yes, I did, sweetheart, and just
to show what a nice guy I am,
while I was at it, I brushed yours
too.”
Losing it?
Seventy-nine-year-old Syd wakes up one morning and can’t find his hearing
aid. Frustrated because he has to buy a new one, Syd goes to see his audiologist.
The audiologist examines him, sees something in the ear, takes his tweezers
and pulls it out. Then he tells Syd, “It’s a suppository!”
Syd immediately pulls out his cell phone and calls his wife, “Hey, Ethyl,” he
says, “Guess where I put my hearing aid?”
9AM - 1AM
7 DAYS
A WEEK
1730 London Line, Sarnia ON
at Hiawatha, 519-383-3732
sarnia@gatewaycasinos.ca
10AM - 2AM 7 DAYS A WEEK
2000 Venean Blvd
Point Edward ON
519-383-7770
pointedward@gatewaycasinos.ca
Don’t ask and don’t ever tell
Now that they are retired, Fred and Ethyl are discussing all aspects of their
future. “What will you do if I die before you do?” Fred asks.
After some thought, Ethyl said that she’d probably look for a house-sharing
situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little
younger than herself since she is so active for her age.
Then Ethyl asked Fred, “What will you do if I die first?”
With a lecherous smile, Fred replied, “Probably the same thing.”
Eating crow
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for
lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.
The elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, but she didn’t
miss them until after they had been driving for about twenty minutes. By then,
to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they
could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve
her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.
He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire
return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became; he just
wouldn’t let up for even one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived back at
the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the
old geezer yelled after her, “While you’re in there, would you mind grabbing
my hat and my credit card?”
Geriatric surgery
Sydney was on the operating table awaiting surgery. His son Melvin, a
renowned cardiac surgeon, would perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, Sydney asked to speak to his son.
Sydney says, “Yes, Dad, what is it?”
Sydney said, “Don’t be nervous, my son. Just do your best and remember…
if it doesn’t go well… if by chance something should happen to me, your
mother is going to come and live with you and your wife... forever!”
Memory loss
Max goes to his doctor and tells him, “Doc, I’m having a real problem with
my memory. It’s getting worse every day.”
The doctor says, “Max, you’re seventy-five years old. It’s perfectly normal
for a guy your age to forget a few things. How long has it been since you first
noticed the problem?”
Max says, “Problem? What problem?”
Brian’s book can be found at Book Keeper in Sarnia
P A G E 10
“I’ll be back.” -The Terminator, 1984