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Haircut Blues<br />
By: Mike Murphy / Social Insecurity<br />
Prior to my recent haircut, I decided to do a bit<br />
of research before venturing out to see what<br />
the latest suggestions are for older men. I have<br />
to say I was amazed how the web can have such an abundance of<br />
suggestions about something so scarce as senior male hair.<br />
Here’s a sample of a brilliant insight put forth by a so-called expert<br />
on senior style: “Deciding which type of haircut is right for you can be<br />
one of the biggest challenges senior men face. A hairstyle that worked<br />
30 years ago may no longer look as good as it once did.”<br />
I’ve got news, buddy. When it comes to senior men, nothing works<br />
or looks as good as it did 30 years ago!<br />
Another topic listed on a senior website is “How to Care for Mature<br />
Hair.” Mature hair? If that’s what this little grey sprig is on top of my<br />
head then I’ll take back my immature hair right this minute!<br />
Then this title caught my attention: “Trends in Baby Boomer<br />
Hairstyles.” Well, it’s heartening to know that it’s still possible at my<br />
age to be trendy at something besides modeling the latest innovations<br />
in hearing aids.<br />
One site really got carried away with its declaration “Finding the<br />
right haircuts for seniors can make you feel like a million bucks.” Uh,<br />
no, not when everything below my hair makes me feel like two cents.<br />
A caption on a final site advises “Thinning hair, bald spots, and<br />
graying are all things senior men need to take into account when<br />
getting a haircut.” For me, personally, I’d say all of those are relevant,<br />
plus making sure my hair appointment does not conflict with naptime.<br />
When I give the hair stylist directions on how I want my hair cut,<br />
and she nods, I’m pretty sure that as I rattle off specific styles such as<br />
blocked hairline, tapered hairline, layered, spiked, or high and tight,<br />
what she actually hears is “The usual old guy haircut.”<br />
The reason I think that is, no matter what I tell her to do, I always<br />
end up looking like a dweeb, and I have to blame someone else—it<br />
can’t be my fault!<br />
Mike Murphy is a retired teacher/coach. His book of humorous<br />
articles titled “Tortoise Crossing - Expect Long Delays” is available<br />
on amazon.com.<br />
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