May 2024 Edition

Swimming Pool
Memories
By: Mike Murphy / Social Insecurity
For a big part of my life, first as a child then
later as a young parent, the official start of
summer was the day that the municipal swimming pool opened for
business.
During the summer when my boys were little tykes, we had one of
those cheap, round, inflatable pools in the backyard. It was fine, except
whenever I moved it for some reason, it revealed a large round area of
dead grass, never to be resuscitated until the next summer.
The other problem with the backyard pools was that little critters would
sometimes fall in the water and could not get out. I found quite a variety
of bugs, an occasional bird, and even a bat in the pool.
Call a Friend
By: Dianne Hahn / Back in the Days
Slip, slide, crash and down! A stumble on the
stairs and I was flat on my back in front of
everyone. Not really hurt, but I was mortified!
There I was, dead on the floor, with the gimpy knees that had betrayed
me. I couldn’t get up!
My floppy hat hung down over my left eye, and my hair, discreetly
tucked under the hat, unfurled in twenty wacky directions.
I looked like a floundering homeless person!
“Are you okay?” A concerned lady extended her hand, but before I
could grasp it, her friend yanked her away.
The boys, of course, thought the corpses were “cool” and protested
when I insisted on removing them.
Eventually, the boys were old enough for the public swimming pool
where I would keep watch on them in the baby pool with one eyeball,
while scanning a copy of “Being and Nothingness” by French philosopher
Jean-Paul Sartre with the other eye.
I couldn’t make heads or tails out of the book, but if someone asked
me what I was reading, it was certainly a lot cooler to respond, “Oh, just
a little ditty by Sartre,” instead of “Tarzan Rescues Jane from the Monkey
King” which I had left back at the house.
As they grew a little bit older, my kids seemed to blend in with the rest
of the screaming, splashing horde the moment they jumped into “the big
pool.” I found it terrifying to lose sight of them for even a second.
I imagine that contemporary parents have a similar experience on
summer days at the pool. Except many of them today are more likely
staring at their phones while the kids frolic in the water.
My three boys’ swimming experiences as youngsters were quite
different than mine. For example, they took lessons and actually learned
how to swim. While my idea of “swimming” was to wildly throw my arms
and kick my legs - resulting in a lot of splashing before slowly sinking to
the bottom of the pool.
Mike Murphy is a retired teacher/coach. His book of humorous
articles titled “Tortoise Crossing - Expect Long Delays” is available
on amazon.com.
16
May 2024
“Don’t touch her! If she’s hurt, she could sue you.” I blinked in
astonishment.
Finally on my feet, I stumbled to my car and drove home. I was shaking
and my head throbbed from where I’d grazed it on the tile floor. I decided
to call the EMT’s.
A group of the most gorgeous men I’d ever seen walked into my house.
I almost fainted! If only I was twenty-five years younger!
“Sit for a moment,” one said. He smiled and my heart melted. “Is it
okay if I touch the back of your head?”
“Oh yes!” “And your neck?” “Oh please, keep going!” We were laughing
as they drove me to the hospital by ambulance.
“Your head is fine. You’re discharged,” the doctor said. “However, you
have Covid.”
“What!!?” He prescribed medicine.
“Will you call me a taxi,” I asked the nurse. “I can’t,” she said. “Why?”
“You have Covid.”
“How am I supposed to get home?” “Call a friend?” “Who would do
that? Expose a friend to Covid?”
Stunned, I sat with my discharge papers and phone in hand until I
finally thought of a solution. I called a friend, my neighbors, Buddy and
Janet. They have my house key.
“ Buddy, I have Covid. Would you and Janet bring my car to the hospital?
I can drive home, and you can drive back in your car.” He laughed.
My heart sank. But then, “Don’t be silly, Dianne. I’m coming to get
you!”
And he did!
A former schoolteacher, Dianne Sebis Hahn also writes for kids!
Her picture books and middle grade novels are available on
Amazon.com.