May 2024 Edition

It’s Good to be the King
By: Jonny Bird / Here’s Jonny
26
May 2024
grew up with a dog named Rex. He was a
I chubby, flop-eared, brown and black German
Shepherd, and my brother never let me forget
it wasn’t my dog.
He was right, of course, because when given a choice, Rex would always
run to my brother, and not me. Dogs can be cruel like that.
It was in those early years of Rex’s indifference to me that I grew an
indifference to dogs. Sure, they’re great to pet and play with, but in the
end, I began to look at them more as a chore.
I concluded that I was just a cat person. Cats are easy. You can put
down a bucket of food, a gallon of water, and a fresh box of poo-poopebbles
and head to Europe for a week.
When you get back, the food and water will have been transferred to the
box and the cat will eventually come and say hello. Simple.
In the same scenario, the dog will have eaten the food, drank the
water, eaten your couch and throw pillows, pooped in a mathematically
impossible grid across the entire house, and anxiety shed enough to start
a brand-new dog.
Recently, when Dudley, our puggle of 12 years passed, I put my foot
down and said, “Never again.” We had two black cats and were just fine
without a dog.
After all, I was the king of this castle, right? I was the captain of this
starship, and I simply wasn’t going to bring another big responsibility
into our lives.
The food, the doctor’s bills, the hair, and the “what do we do when we
are leaving for a week” conversations just didn’t need to happen.
As I sit at my desk and computer tonight, long after midnight with all
of the Birds snugly in their nests, I look up to see two jet-black eyes staring
back at me. Drool is coming heavily from a long snout filled with a tennis
ball between Deliah’s teeth. I take off my glasses and rub my face.
Good to be the king? I think I’ve been overthrown.
Jonny Bird is the entertainment host of all Vegas Voice shows. Have
an idea or suggestion? Contact Jonny via email:birdlandmusic@
hotmail.com