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"BATMAN RETURNS" by Daniel Waters [with revisions by Wesley ...

"BATMAN RETURNS" by Daniel Waters [with revisions by Wesley ...

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We whoosh downward to a DECREPIT "ARCTIC WORLD" PAVILION,<br />

and through its Colossal, cracked Observation window.<br />

INT. PENGUIN'S LAIR--NIGHT<br />

We continue to squirm down the walls of the lair where<br />

Penguin found his home, before settling to a tight glimpse<br />

of Max Shreck slumped over the edge of a block of ice.<br />

Max teeters up into consciousness, glancing to his side<br />

to see a grand Emperor Penguin curiously staring at him.<br />

Max yelps. The Penguin yelps back.<br />

Calming himself, Max turns to face forward, then screams<br />

again. The block of ice is revealed to be a strange con-<br />

ference table populated <strong>by</strong> the Red Triangle Circus Gang,<br />

including: a disturbingly Ratty Poodle and its matching<br />

owner, a Ratty POODLE LADY; the Organ Grinder and his two<br />

monkeys; the Tattooed Strongman; the Sword Swallower; the<br />

Knifethrowing Dame; the Fat and Thin Clowns; the three<br />

Stiltwalkers; Flame, the Snakewoman; and four ND acrobats.<br />

An awesome, SEEDY ELECTRICAL GENERATOR wires to a massive<br />

air conditioner, wheezes sparks <strong>with</strong> a malevolent hum.<br />

The gang's snickering now fades into respectful silence.<br />

Actual penguins of every size heedlessly horseplay in<br />

the icy moat. Now we hear the sound of a drip. Max<br />

turns...The drip is seen thudding against an umbrella<br />

improbably held <strong>by</strong> one of the penguins. As he emerges<br />

from the pack, we see that he wears a grimy coat. Then<br />

he flaps down his umbrella, revealing his face for the<br />

first time in glory. It is not a penguin but The Penguin.<br />

Hi.<br />

PENGUIN<br />

Max launches into a face-contorting wail, but his shock<br />

prevents him from emitting actual sound. He closes his<br />

mouth then tries another Munchesque wail to no aural effect.<br />

Then:<br />

PENGUIN<br />

I believe the word you're looking<br />

for is...A-A-A-A-A-G-H-!

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