SXSW 2013 Sampler

Introduction: Likeability, Rogue Economists, and the Lovable Fool xxxiii
There are probably dozens of other examples of this paradox. So
what does it mean? Are the business clichés like ‘‘nice guys finish last’’ or
‘‘nice girls don’t get the corner office’’ actually right? And if likeability
matters so much, how can we explain the success of these two men
who seemed to make arrogance and competition their priorities? The
answer comes down to understanding the difference between likeability
and being nice because of the human need to be liked.
Do We Need to Be Liked?
People who care too much about being liked are often described as
weak or insecure. As a result, few people and even fewer business leaders
are ready to admit that they care about it or even factor likeability into
any of their everyday decisions. So if likeability is such a hard quality
to admit to caring about, why is the need to be liked such a powerful
motivational force? If anyone has the answer, it is Dr. Roger Corvin,
a clinical psychologist practicing in Montrealwho has spent his career
trying to help patients with a variety of mental or emotional issues.
His average afternoon might include seeing a depressed teen, an
executive with anxiety, and a mother with post-traumatic stress disorder
(PTSD). Despite the variety of genders, life situations, ages, and
ethnicities, Dr. Corvin started to realize that there was a common trait
among all the people who came to see him : They all had a need to be
liked by other people.
In his book, The Need to Be Liked, he describes this as a fundamental
human need in psychological terms because:
1. The brain and body are designed to acquire it.
2. Not fulfilling the need has negative effects on the person.
The primary function of this need, he argues, is to ‘‘ensure that
we form relationships with other people.’’ There is a clear evolutionary
reason why this would have mattered for our ancestors: Those who
were able to form relationships and work together were more likely to
survive.
So what about the curious cases of Jobs and Ellison? Were they
simply immune to this need to be liked and therefore able to behave
more harshly?