Therapist's Guide to Clinical Intervention - Sigmund Freud

5. Be emotionally available to your children when you are with them. Sitting in
front of the television or being busy with chores when you are home is not a
demonstration of taking the time to be with them. Talk to and listen to your
children. Keep the lines of communication open so you will know what is
happening in their lives and how they feel about it. This way you will know
what are they interested in, what do they like at school, what are they
struggling with, who their friends are, and so forth.
6. Each day, allot specific child time where there is no phone, no television, no
interruptions of any kind. Even if it is only a short period of time, you are
telling your children how important they are, which reinforces positive selfesteem.
This is an investment in your child. One thing you can do is it read to
your child. Reading with children is a special time; it fosters reading as being
enjoyable, a quiet time, and it can be used as a nonstressful means for
working on difficult issues. Think of the possibility that reading may facilitate
children to be more open to learning life lessons.
7. Demonstrate a focus on the positives and what is working. Demonstrating
genuine gratitude for what one has improves coping with limitations and
encourages letting go or accepting what cannot be changed.
8. If you feel that your child is keeping difficult emotions inside or you just want
to stimulate the sharing of thoughts and feelings, play the "finish the
sentence" game. Create sentence stems where the child gets to complete the
sentence. This game not only creates the opportunity to understand what your
child is thinking and feeling, it is also an opportunity for your child to find
out that you have similar feelings about some things. Examples include the
following
A. "I Wish..."
B. "I feel happy when..."
C. "I feel unhappy when..."
D. "I don't understand..."
E. "When I grow up I will never..."
F. "When I grow up I will..."
9. Even when you find yourself tired and frustrated, don't give into blaming your
significant other for hardships created by the changes associated with
necessary adjustment. If you talk in terms of feeling punished for taking
responsibility for what needs to be done, consider the effect on children and
how they may be reinforced to view their own issues of responsibility.
10. Remember, you are the role model for positive self-talk and self-care. Your
child is learning from watching you:
A. How to interact with the world
B. How to simply do what needs to be done without negativity and procrastination
C. How to problem-solve and resolve conflicts
D. How to appropriately get needs met
424 3. Skill-Building Resources for Increasing Social Competency