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the PDF of her book - National Aphasia Association

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104 Ruth Codier Resch Without Utterance:<br />

The sandy beach turns rocky, and I keep walking. I’m wearing hiking<br />

shoes, and think I’m seeing actual little paths in <strong>the</strong> rocks for footing. I’m<br />

dreamy and walk right along toward a long rock peninsula as a destination,<br />

but I don’t get to it. My attention is arrested by a tiny waterfall from high cliff<br />

that has risen on my right, ledges <strong>of</strong> crumbled rock. The water flows into a<br />

little pool in <strong>the</strong> rocks <strong>the</strong> size <strong>of</strong> my hand and drops down near my feet and<br />

disappears into a crevice. I’m entranced and fall fur<strong>the</strong>r in reverie.<br />

I haven’t much experience making ritual myself, but it is my intention<br />

to make a good one now for my friend. I sit down on <strong>the</strong> ledge beside <strong>the</strong><br />

pool <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> waterfall to think, have my turkey sandwich and apple, but my<br />

mind isn’t thinking much. Somehow it is full.<br />

Finished with lunch, I cross <strong>the</strong> flat, brown-brown plateau <strong>of</strong> rock in<br />

front <strong>of</strong> me to a high promontory, w<strong>her</strong>e I watch <strong>the</strong> water spiraling far below.<br />

Still, I’m not thinking, yet a blessing begins to form. I take <strong>the</strong> driftwood<br />

shark from my cotton striped bag and cast it out into <strong>the</strong> air to watch it drop<br />

slowly down to <strong>the</strong> water. “Here,” I say to my friend, “I give to you a watery<br />

companion and ally to swim with you on this new journey you are making …<br />

whatever it is beyond w<strong>her</strong>e I am standing in this world. Your friend, shark,<br />

is a guide for you toward your next destination.”<br />

I send <strong>the</strong> crow fea<strong>the</strong>rs after <strong>the</strong> shark and speak about how crow is<br />

<strong>the</strong> spirit that flies between <strong>the</strong> worlds and a shape-shifter <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> rules <strong>of</strong><br />

each. “You, my friend, swam into <strong>the</strong> shark’s friendship. You and <strong>the</strong> shark<br />

slipped between your different realities already in life. Crow, with shark, will<br />

help you move in this new immensity.” I reach in <strong>the</strong> bag for <strong>the</strong> starfish, but<br />

it is no longer a dry skeleton. It has come alive again in <strong>the</strong> moist shadows.<br />

So it is right to return it to its watery home. As I send it into <strong>the</strong> air, “Be a<br />

starry beacon for my friend!” and I bless it for being willing to come with<br />

me to do this.<br />

I stand for a while in this blessing dream for my friend, thinking and<br />

reflecting on <strong>the</strong> time I knew him. Finally I’m satisfied that it is finished. I turn<br />

from <strong>the</strong> water and toward <strong>the</strong> cliff behind me to return down <strong>the</strong> beach. My<br />

whole being is stunned. As far as I can see to ei<strong>the</strong>r side <strong>of</strong> me, <strong>the</strong> whole face<br />

<strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> high shear cliff across from me is a gentle seeping waterfall.

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