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Table of contents - The University of Texas at Dallas

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BOOK REVIEWS<br />

Marku, Rudolf. Allahland.<br />

Ron Berisha, Reviewer<br />

While we’re still<br />

recoveringfrom this<br />

bewildering title, the author<br />

informs us, by means <strong>of</strong> a<br />

quote from Shakespeare’s<br />

Twelfth Night, th<strong>at</strong> we are about to embark on<br />

a journey to a place called Illyria, where the<br />

story will take place. For those unfamiliar with<br />

this ethno-geographical expression, Illyria<br />

is an ancient region on the eastern coast <strong>of</strong><br />

the Adri<strong>at</strong>ic Sea covering parts <strong>of</strong> Cro<strong>at</strong>ia,<br />

Montenegro, and Albania. In Shakespeare’s<br />

play, however, it is an imaginary place, a fantasy<br />

land th<strong>at</strong> the bard also mentions in Henry VI,<br />

Part II, noting its reput<strong>at</strong>ion for pir<strong>at</strong>es. “This<br />

is Illyria, lady,” says the Captain to Viola. <strong>The</strong><br />

land, after the stormy voyage <strong>at</strong> sea, would<br />

normally be a place <strong>of</strong> rest and peace. “And<br />

wh<strong>at</strong> should I do in Illyria” asks Viola; well,<br />

dear reader, hold tight: you are in for a hell <strong>of</strong> a<br />

ride.<br />

<strong>The</strong> preface transports us to a country<br />

called Zululand, to the dusty basement <strong>of</strong> a<br />

university loc<strong>at</strong>ed in the region <strong>of</strong> Domosdova<br />

— probably the most unlikely place in Albania<br />

to have a university — where the scientist<br />

Viola Paskualina finds an old and untitled<br />

manuscript, which she hands to the man in<br />

charge <strong>of</strong> the archives, who quickly asserts th<strong>at</strong><br />

the manuscript is the second part <strong>of</strong> the book<br />

“Zululand,” written by the renowned Albanian<br />

writer Faik Konica sometime in the nineteen<br />

twenties. To perplex the poor reader even more,<br />

quot<strong>at</strong>ions from Hemingway and Umberto Eco<br />

are also included in the introduction, which put<br />

forth theories th<strong>at</strong> Kilimanjaro might actually be<br />

the place where the manuscript was first found,<br />

and the Zululand can be a place where even<br />

Masonry and Semantics can fit together…. One<br />

can imagine wh<strong>at</strong> the seventeen short chapters<br />

th<strong>at</strong> follow this introduction are going to be like!<br />

<strong>The</strong> plot is in fact fairly simple: Dulce Lina,<br />

a lively and fun-loving young lady, is told by<br />

the President <strong>of</strong> the “Happy Islands <strong>of</strong> Sazan<br />

Karambo” th<strong>at</strong> she will be the new ambassador<br />

to Zululand. She is so deliriously happy <strong>at</strong> the<br />

news th<strong>at</strong>, without much ado, she throws herself<br />

underne<strong>at</strong>h the table <strong>at</strong> the president’s crotch<br />

and engages in oral sex with him. Why is she so<br />

happy At the prospect <strong>of</strong> helping in civilizing<br />

and democr<strong>at</strong>izing an exceptionally primitive<br />

country like Zululand Yes, but not just th<strong>at</strong>; she<br />

is clearly turned on by the enterprise. Her sexual<br />

fantasy is to be a nurse, being violently screwed<br />

by a humble, primitive, well-endowed p<strong>at</strong>ient<br />

in token <strong>of</strong> gr<strong>at</strong>itude for having saved his life<br />

and mended his wounds. Even as she flies over<br />

Zululand, the unashamedly phallic mountain<br />

peaks (<strong>of</strong> which this country has loads) turn her<br />

on to such an extent th<strong>at</strong> she finds it impossible<br />

to hide her arousal. When she reaches the<br />

main airport (called GypsyPasha) <strong>of</strong> “the most<br />

honourable and respected” country <strong>of</strong> Zululand,<br />

this vivacious woman meets a man called Mr.<br />

Smoke, who is the current ambassador, well<br />

<strong>at</strong> home in Zululand, well-informed about its<br />

people and ancient customs. His embassy has a<br />

full 300 employees (including the gardeners),<br />

all transported from the Sazan Karambo Islands.<br />

Together, they have set out to “save” Zululand.<br />

L<strong>at</strong>er, somewhere in the middle <strong>of</strong> nowhere<br />

in Zululand, the bubbly new ambassadoress<br />

encounters three burping old drunkards<br />

who prophesize th<strong>at</strong> she will actually become<br />

the princess <strong>of</strong> Zululand <strong>at</strong> some point, by<br />

marrying a strong and brave and well-endowed<br />

Zululander, as it befits a woman <strong>of</strong> her st<strong>at</strong>us,<br />

st<strong>at</strong>ure, and <strong>at</strong>tractiveness.<br />

With its obviously ironic style and the<br />

extravagant pastiche characters seemingly<br />

72 Transl<strong>at</strong>ion Review

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