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2IO IENLIGHTENMENT EXPERIENCESreally brought me back? Was it the dignity of the Japanese, theirpatient endurance in the face of their untold sufferings that I marveledat? Was it the unearthly silence of Engaku Monastery and the deeppeace it engendered within me whenever I strolled through its gardensor beneath its giant cryptomerias? . . .NOVEMBER I, I953 I In Kyoto almost a month now . . . . P-, theAmerican professor whom I'd met at one of S-'s lectures in NewYork, is teaching the history of philosophy at a Japanese university.. . . He and I have already called on five or six Zen teachers andauthorities . . . . Talk talk talk! Some of these Zen men are curiouslyverbose for a teaching that boasts of mind-to-mind transmission andan abhorrence of concepts. Professor M-, when I reminded him ofthis, said: "In the beginning you have to utilize concepts to get ridof concepts." That sounds like fighting fire with oil. . . . Feelingrestless again. All of yesterday toured the curio shops buying artobjects. Is this what I returned to Japan for?NOVEMBER 2, I953 ILetter arrived today from Nakagawa-roshi,master of Ryutaku Monastery, saying yes, P- and I could spendtwo days there . . . . Will such a trip prove productive? Not if Sand the Zen professors in Kyoto are right: "Zen monasteries aretoo traditio11al and authoritarian fo r modern intellectually-mindedpeople." . . . Anyway, it'll be a novel experience to converse with aroshi in English and may turn out a pleasant holiday . . . . P-'s wifepiled us up with heavy blankets and lots of American groceries. HerJapanese friend says Zen monasteries are notoriously cold and austere .• . . What does one do in a monastery anyway? . . .NOVEMBER 3, I953 IArrived at monastery at dusk . . . . During6f-hour train trip P- and I busied ourselves framing questions totest the roshi' s philosophical knowledge of Zen. "If he has an intellectualgrasp of Ze11," we decided, "and is not just an old-fashionedreligious fanatic, we'll stay the full two days, otherwise let's leave to-"morrow . . . .Nakagawa-roshi received us in his simple, unpretentious quarters.• . . How young-looking he is, so unlike the bearded patriarch ofour imaginings . . . . And so cordial and affable, he personally made