Uncle Andy's Digest - November 2017

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Genie Submitted by Steve Simard “I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen Once Lori was walking along the beach thinking of the worst state of her life cycle. Her husband, Steve, asked her for divorce. As she was walking, she tripped over something in the sand. The woman picked the object up revealing a lamp. Lori rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared before her. “I will grant you three wishes,” the genie said “but whatever you wish for your husband will get double.” Lori thought and thought, then made her first wish, “I wish for 10 million dollars.” POOF! The wish for ten million appears at the woman feet, some distance away 20 million dollars appears at Steve’s feet. Lori thinks again and makes her second wish, “I wish for a pile of diamonds three feet high!” POOF! A pile of diamonds appear at her feet, a pile of diamonds six feet high appears at her husband’s feet. Now, Lori thinks and thinks, ponders and ponders; finally she says to the genie “Now, whatever I wish for, my husband gets double?” The genie replies, “That is correct.” She makes her third wish, “I wish for you to scare me half to death. Uncle Andy’s Digest 14 ...with Jimbo November 2017 783-7039 Out ‘n About with the Fontaine Family Team and Make-A-Wish Maine Make-A-Wish Staff: Sam Elliott, Mackenzie Perry, Rebekah Roy, Whitney Miller, Meredith Plaud & Kate Vickery 754-0310 FREE ESTIMATES Custom Painting Work Guaranteed WE’VE MOVED! 1511 Minot Ave. Auburn located at Lifestyles Auto Sales Marc R. Beaulieu beau363@aol.com LIGHT MECHANICAL • AUTO BODY • DETAILING One day, I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee. • • • • • Th Tim M N
“Thanksgiving is the home version of an “all-you-can-eat” buffet.” – Melanie White Out ‘n About at Rogers Insurance, Lisbon part of the Champoux Insurance family of agencies. We have a great crew, see our ad on page 37. • Prizes & Giveaways • Free Samples • Cornhole Tournament • Face Painting • Z105.5FM Live Remote 10a-12p Thank You to all of our Amazing Customers! Enter to win our Grand Prize, Free Lunch Every Month for a Year (restrictions may apply) Nov. 1 through Nov. 11 we will be drawing names every day for great prizes! Brenda Rogers Tim Rucker, could you take a couple steps back? I have a nut allergy. — Vickie Rucker Linda Brooks Terry Ridley Tina Ames My girlfriend isn’t talking to me because I ruined her birthday party! I have no idea what she is talking about, because I wasn’t even at the party. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with Jimbo Nov. 2017 UncleAndys.com 15
Page 1 and 2: Uncle Andy’s Digest NOVEMBER 2017
Page 3 and 4: “When I trace a turkey, it comes
Page 5 and 6: If you are going to start cross-cou
Page 7 and 8: Maybe if we start telling people th
Page 9 and 10: convenience store & catering divisi
Page 11 and 12: k “Do your job and demand your co
Page 13: On November 25, 1973: Little Tommy
Page 17 and 18: On November 11, 1940: The Jeep made
Page 19 and 20: Do most twins ever realize that one
Page 21 and 22: If I had a dollar for every time I
Page 23 and 24: . e , - . Uncle Andy’s Digest ...
Page 25 and 26: Blackie’s Farm Fresh Produce Open
Page 27 and 28: “You can’t hurry love or pizza.
Page 29 and 30: I’m wearing the smile you gave me
Page 31 and 32: Seek respect, not attention. It las
Page 33 and 34: CALL THE PROS ? Walk-ins Welcome !
Page 35 and 36: Aspire to inspire before we expire.
Page 37 and 38: Hours: Nov. thru Dec.23rd Friday: 5
Page 39 and 40: yer TEAMWORK means never having to
Page 41 and 42: The first 5 days after the weekend
Page 43 and 44: Fisheye lenses make the world go ro
Page 45 and 46: The heaviest turkey ever raised was
Page 47 and 48: Flashlight: A case for holding dead
Page 49 and 50: A 15 pound turkey usually has about
Page 51 and 52: Celebrating 25 Years! 1992 - 2017 R

Uncle Andy's Digest - November 2017

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