Student Life October 2019
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Coming Out<br />
BY LOUISE DICKMAN<br />
ADVICE<br />
You may be reading this article because<br />
you are thinking of coming out. First off, it<br />
is okay. It is okay to be LGBT+. It is okay to<br />
be anxious about coming out. You are not<br />
alone, you matter and you are loved.<br />
I would first advise that you<br />
have come out to yourself.<br />
Don’t come out to other people unless you<br />
feel as if you have completely accepted<br />
your sexuality yourself and you feel<br />
comfortable with yourself. You may be<br />
thinking things like ‘I shouldn’t feel this<br />
way’ or ‘I am wrong’ but being gay/bi/trans/<br />
any other LGBT+ identity is completely<br />
okay. You should truly believe this.<br />
But also, don’t feel as if you have to come<br />
out in a specific way. Everyone’s way of<br />
coming out is different – you do whatever<br />
you feel best doing. Some people prefer<br />
a face to face conversation so they can<br />
straight away answer any questions the<br />
other person has. Whereas, others prefer<br />
to write a letter or text the person they<br />
are coming out to, this can give the person<br />
some time to think about things and not<br />
respond immediately in a way that could<br />
be hurtful. It is completely your choice. But<br />
remember, it is never going to feel exactly<br />
like the ‘right’ time to come out. It is an<br />
incredibly nerve-racking situation, but you<br />
can do things to make sure it feels as ‘right’<br />
as possible. Make sure you have time to sit<br />
down with the person and explain things.<br />
For example, don’t tell a parent while<br />
they are about to leave for work, maybe<br />
instead when you both have time after<br />
school/work to properly talk about things.<br />
Most parents need a lot of time to process<br />
what they have been told and that is also<br />
okay because they just need to adjust<br />
and most of the time, the relationship<br />
grows stronger. Their initial reaction, if it’s<br />
negative, will be mostly out of shock. It<br />
wouldn’t be their final reaction or opinion.<br />
Most importantly, if you genuinely think<br />
that you could be in any type of danger<br />
by coming out, the best thing is to protect<br />
yourself and wait until you believe that you<br />
are safe to do so. Your safety is the most<br />
paramount thing.<br />
87 87 • MY LGBT LIFE • STUDENT LIFE
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