427993469-The-Man-That-God-has-for-You

There Has to be Genuine Progress
Genuine progress is determined by recognizing the conscious effort. We
know when someone is putting forth the effort to ensure they respond
differently and take a better path of resolution in those situations. If there’s no
effort to make better choices, or walk a better path, then again it’s not a
mistake but a real issue.
It’s one thing to say, “oh, I’m sorry, my bad, I won’t do it again,” because
I know that you’re upset and it’s an issue I just want to get under control.
However, that doesn’t mean I understand what I did.
If I don’t understand how throwing your past in your face makes you
upset and feel insecure in the relationship, I’m going to have a hard time not
committing the same violation. When there’s no connection to the problem,
there’s a greater chance to commit the same infraction. It’s human nature.
You want to make sure there’s a level of understanding, and granted some
people may not completely connect, but at the very least, they need to
recognize that it affects you and that it’s a problem. And it’s even better when
they can understand WHY it’s a problem; why it’s affects you, why it’s an
issue. Then, it will give them more fuel and a greater ability to avoid
committing the same offense.
So again, in order to qualify someone’s actions as a mistake they have to
first be willing to acknowledge the issue and own it, they have to show
genuine progress in trying to do things better, and lastly, they need to
understand the issue. It is only when these three things take place, that an
action can be labeled a mistake. This justifies the reasons why it can be
resolved and why you can still move forward with this person. If those
requirements aren’t met, the action is not a mistake, it’s a real issue and that is
not the man God has for you or he simply isn't ready.
To be clear, the man God has for you is not going to be the perfect in that
he’ll never do anything wrong. We all slip up. We’re human beings, we sin,
we do bad things sometimes—it’s life. Still, there’s a difference between the
person who makes a mistake and wants to do better and be better for you, as
opposed to the person who does it and doesn’t care about how you feel. They
don’t give one damn about how this affects you. All they care about is
themselves, how they feel, and what they’re looking to get out of a situation.
A person like that will always dismiss your feelings and the impact of
their actions. Doesn’t matter if they use the household excuse or claim it’s just
the way I am, they need to seek counseling. They need to get help. When they
have healed and corrected their issues, only then, can that person come back,
or you consider the possibility of embracing them coming back. You’re not
obligated to remain with someone while they continue to behave in a toxic
manner. They need to be actively trying to correct it. And to be clear, active
does not mean they continue the actions while claiming to be making