Uncle Andy's Digest • August 2020

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Waiting YourTurnSubmitted by JimboThe Digest’s very ownSteve Simard decidedto take advantageof the local grocerystore’s senior hours.He showed up to waitin line at 7:45. Thestore opened at 8:00.Steve watched as ayoung man came fromthe parking lot andtried to cut in at thefront of the line, but anold lady beat him backinto the parking lot withher cane.A few minutes later,Steve watched asthe same young manreturned and tried tocut in again but an oldman punched him inthe gut, then kickedhim to the ground androlled him away.As he approached theline for the third timehe said, “If you don’tlet me unlock the door,you’ll never get inthere.”If a woman speaks and no one is listening her name is probably Mom.•Brewery•taproom•Café•Pinky D’s Food truck•Coffee by Design•EXPANDED OUTDOOR & DISTANCED INDOOR SEATINGCURBSIDE PICKUP & DELIVERY STILL AVAILABLECAFÉ OPENS AT 7 A.M.• Please check our website or Facebook page for current hours and offerings •1110 MINOT A VE./SIDEBYEACHBREWING A UBURN, MAINEWWW. SIDEBYEACHBREWING. COM 207.689.3030I think sometimes we humans ask too much of spandex.It’s Your Choice – Choose ExperienceBuying or selling a home can be an exciting and challenging experience.The buyers and sellers have many details to handle before and after the closing.Our experienced professionals can help you make this experience a smooth one.207-784-6413 | 844-202-926895 Main Street, Auburn • www.androtitle.comI invited a teddy bear for dinner yesterday. I offered him some food but he said, “No thanks, I’m stuffed.”EST1950 783-3444WE’RE OPEN BY APPOINTMENT!Men’s & boys cuts,only $15.0054 Mill St., New Auburn783-3444OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30a-5:30p,Sat 7:30a-2pJean & TinaBoothRentalsAvailablePoisson & Sons Auto Care260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144FULL SERVICE GAS STATIONAugust 2020Stickers aredue!Car Care Tips• Keep your engine cool• Replace windshield wipers• Change oil• Check your tires• Check your A/C UnitAuto Repairs • MaintenanceInspections • K1 • AlignmentsComputer •DiagnosticsState Inspections & More!Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withJimbo16 August 2020 783-7039All my life, I have felt like a battery. I’m rarely included in anything!
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Page 1 and 2: It’s anhonor to sayI’ve been pa
Page 3 and 4: A coin shortage? America must be ou
Page 5 and 6: Due to my isolation I finished 3 bo
Page 7 and 8: Day 100 of quarantine: Watching bir
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLYour one-stop shop for:
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSETake OutAvai
Page 13 and 14: Wanna hear a joke about a stone? Ne
Page 15: When I told the doctor about my los
Page 19 and 20: OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSESDogs ea
Page 21 and 22: 207.784.1541easy@easyrentall.com20
Page 23 and 24: State Farm Life Insurance Company (
Page 25 and 26: 777-3579Mon.-Fri. 9am-5pm, Sat. 9am
Page 27 and 28: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESNowHiringWe are
Page 29 and 30: My neighbors are listening to great
Page 31 and 32: Money alone won’t make you happy.
Page 33 and 34: I don’t need a hairstylist. My pi
Page 35 and 36: CALL THE PROSHopefullyLocated in th
Page 37 and 38: 733 Sabattus Street, Lewiston207-77
Page 39 and 40: What a crazy day! First, I found a
Page 41 and 42: You know you’re a bad driver when
Page 44: YOUR VEHICLE WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT!H

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