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elationships<br />
Photography | Ed Miles<br />
Men and boys<br />
are as fragile as<br />
anyone else –and<br />
shouldn’t we<br />
stop pretending<br />
otherwise?<br />
From there on in, he examined<br />
a lot of the clichés around<br />
perceptions of masculinity, as<br />
well as the fact that men and boys<br />
are as fragile as anyone else – and<br />
shouldn’t we stop pretending<br />
otherwise?<br />
“There’s a certain strand in<br />
masculinity where men are in<br />
denial of that fragility,” he says. “I<br />
started unpicking that, and where<br />
that urge to deny what’s really<br />
going on comes from.”<br />
But questioning what<br />
masculinity means now, doesn’t<br />
come without a backlash, as<br />
Martin explains. “There’s often<br />
a resistance to men talking in<br />
this way, but I keep returning<br />
to the idea that this is simply<br />
about self-questioning. Trying<br />
to understand that is a really<br />
healthy process.”<br />
Beyond the personal, Martin<br />
delves into issues around class,<br />
poverty, and politics. He’s keen<br />
to impress that environmental<br />
factors also have a role to play.<br />
“Statistically, you are more<br />
likely to have a mental health<br />
problem, including addiction, if<br />
you live in an impoverished area,”<br />
he shares. “People can often<br />
blame themselves, and think<br />
it’s something that they have to<br />
untangle on their own. But it’s not<br />
your fault, and it’s important to<br />
acknowledge that.<br />
“Getting more men to look at<br />
tricky issues is the starting point,<br />
because I think we can clam-up.<br />
That’s partly because masculinity<br />
and mental health is such a big<br />
issue to get your head around.”<br />
But that’s why the work Martin,<br />
and many others, is doing is so<br />
important – pushing for the next<br />
chapter on modern masculinity.<br />
And with his honest selfreflection,<br />
challenging the status<br />
quo, and asking for change,<br />
Martin really is writing the book<br />
on this.<br />
Martin Robinson is the editor,<br />
CEO and founder of thebookofman.<br />
com, a site working towards a new<br />
concept of masculinity. ‘You Are Not<br />
the Man You Are Supposed to Be: Into<br />
the Chaos of Modern Masculinity’ is<br />
out now (Bloomsbury, £20).<br />
happiful.com | <strong>April</strong> <strong>2021</strong> | 47
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