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positive pointers<br />
concerns, opinions, and fears is<br />
hugely impactful.<br />
“The most helpful thing a<br />
loved one can do when they are<br />
advocating for someone with<br />
a mental illness, is to be fully<br />
present and listen, without<br />
judgement,” Baljit Kamal<br />
explains. “Active listening is when<br />
you have your full focus on what<br />
someone is saying, while making<br />
a conscious effort to hear not only<br />
the words being expressed, but<br />
also the complete message being<br />
communicated through nonverbal<br />
aspects of communication,<br />
too. This may include putting<br />
yourself in their shoes, which can<br />
be calming, reassuring, and even<br />
healing, during moments of crisis<br />
for your loved one.”<br />
The following five steps can<br />
help improve your listening<br />
skills, and ensure you’re giving<br />
them the best support possible:<br />
1. Think carefully about<br />
your body language<br />
Make eye contact, but not<br />
constantly. Try not to fold your<br />
arms, cross your legs, look away<br />
or at your phone – basically<br />
anything that signals to them that<br />
you’re not paying them your full<br />
attention.<br />
2. Give them space to talk<br />
Try not to interrupt or give them<br />
unsolicited advice, as this could<br />
shut them down and abruptly<br />
end the chat. Instead, reflect<br />
back what they’ve told you by<br />
paraphrasing and putting it in<br />
your own words to ensure you’ve<br />
understood, and show them that<br />
you’re listening.<br />
3. Stay in the moment<br />
Try not to daydream, or listen to<br />
your inner voice, while they’re<br />
speaking. This can also help you<br />
to watch out for what isn’t said, as<br />
much as what is. You’ll be more able<br />
to pick up on their tone of voice,<br />
facial expressions, and whether their<br />
body language is hinting at a hidden<br />
meaning behind their words.<br />
4. Pause and reflect<br />
When they’ve finished speaking,<br />
take a moment before answering.<br />
Reflect on what they’ve said now,<br />
rather than preparing an answer<br />
while they were talking. If you need<br />
any clarification, try to ask open<br />
ended questions that encourage<br />
them to explain things in more<br />
detail – avoid closed ‘yes’ or ‘no’<br />
questions, as this can shut down the<br />
conversation. >>><br />
happiful.com | <strong>April</strong> <strong>2021</strong> | 51
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