UAD September Digest 2021

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NowHiringMommy TestSubmitted by JimboI was out walkingwith my four year olddaughter. She pickedup something off theground and started toput it in her mouth. Iasked her not to dothat.CAREER OPPORTUNITIESNOW HIRING! ApplyWithin“Why?”“Because it’s beenlaying outside and isdirty and probably hasgerms.”At this point, shelooked at me with totaladmiration and asked,“Wow! How do youknow all this stuff?”“Uh,” I was thinkingquickly, everyoneknows this stuff, “Um,it’s on the Mommy test.You have to know it, orthey don’t let you be aMommy.”“Oh.”We walked along insilence for two or threeminutes, but she wasevidently ponderingthis new information.“I get it!” she beamed.“Then if you flunk, youhave to be the Daddy.”RoySnow.com207.782.3734Serving Maine since 194711 Library Ave.AuburnIS YOUR BUSINESS HIRING?Advertise in ourCAREER OPPORTUNITIESsection to get your job opening viewed by morethan 20,000 readers each month! Call today FMI!207-783-7039COME JOIN OUR TEAM!You’ll be glad you did!We’re hiring Direct Support ProfessionalsTo apply:www.jfmhomes.org or 207-783-2726 x202Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withJimbo18 Sept. 2021 783-7039Does struggling to put on your jeans count as cardio?
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Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SDIGEST SINCESEPTEMBER2
Page 3 and 4: If a plant is sad, do other plants
Page 5 and 6: Why must I prove that I am me to pa
Page 7 and 8: Steve thought he was a smart indivi
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLYour one-stop shop for:
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSEShown here:C
Page 13 and 14: Mashed potatoes is just Irish guaca
Page 15 and 16: It amazes me how much “exercise
Page 17: 2My neighbor’s in the Guinness Bo
Page 21 and 22: Shout out to ATM Fees for making me
Page 23 and 24: When people tell me I’m going to
Page 25 and 26: I accidentally handed my wife a glu
Page 27 and 28: I told my daughter that she had to
Page 29 and 30: I pulled a muscle digging for gold.
Page 31 and 32: If dentists make all their money fr
Page 33 and 34: You should never take your dog shop
Page 35 and 36: When I was young, I was poor. But a
Page 37 and 38: The fact that my entire body cracks
Page 39 and 40: Cosmetic surgery used to be somethi
Page 41 and 42: Make yourreservationnow!Gymnasts do
Page 43 and 44: The deer had to get braces because
Page 45 and 46: CALL THE PROSLocated in thebuilding
Page 47 and 48: AUBURN4 5 M I N O T A V E N U E 7 8

UAD September Digest 2021

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