Uncle Andy's Digest - JANUARY 2023

I’ve been sentenced to 20 years for my part in a timeshare fraud.
Luckily I only have to go to prison for two weeks a year.
Positive
Identification
Submitted by Steve Simard
Three women were
taking a class on how
police officers can use
eyewitnesses to identify
a criminal. As part of
the class, they had to
go through some training
with the local police
department.
To test their skills in
recognizing a suspect,
the officer shows the
first woman a picture
for five seconds and
then hides it. “This
is your suspect, how
would you recognize
him?”
The first woman answers,
“That’s easy,
we’ll catch him fast
because he only has
one eye!”
The policeman says,
“Well, uh... that’s
because the picture
shows his profile.”
A special Thank You to the following businesses
who helped with our decorations:
BEDARD PHARMACY
ANDROSCOGGIN HOME HEALTHCARE + HOSPICE
CENTERWELL HOME HEALTH
We encourage vendors to join in the fun next year!
The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents,
aged 65 and older, who need assistance with bathing,
medications, and meals.
We provide a warm and
comfortable home for our residents
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn • 207-783-0961
Bonnie Iwans
Slightly flustered by this
ridiculous response, the
officer flashes the picture
for five seconds at
the second woman and
asks her, “This is your
suspect, how would
you recognize him?”
The second woman
giggles, flips her hair
and says, “Ha! He’d
be too easy to catch
because he only has
one ear!”
The policeman angrily
responds, “What’s the
matter with you two?!
Of course only one eye
and one ear are
Continued on next page
I’m really scared of giants. It’s a severe case of feefiphobia.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
UncleAndys.com 13