Uncle Andy's Digest - JANUARY 2023
It's a New Year! Welcome to the January 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
It's a New Year! Welcome to the January 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
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I just bought a head of lettuce. I wonder what they did with the rest of the body.<br />
Toddler Logic<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
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Little Susie, a fouryear-old,<br />
complained,<br />
“Mom, I’ve got a tummy<br />
ache.”<br />
“That’s because your<br />
tummy is empty,” the<br />
mother replied. “You<br />
would feel better if you<br />
had something in it.”<br />
That afternoon, her father<br />
came complaining<br />
that he had a severe<br />
headache all day.<br />
Let Us Insure All Your Outdoor Toys!<br />
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I wouldn’t say that my wife’s cooking is bad, but our trash bin has an ulcer.<br />
Out ‘n About at <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> World Headquarters<br />
Some<br />
days the best<br />
part of my job is<br />
that my chair<br />
swivels.<br />
Susie perked up,<br />
“That’s because it’s<br />
empty,” she said.<br />
“You’d feel better if you<br />
had something in it.”<br />
Smart Pace<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
A farmer is walking<br />
with a prospective<br />
buyer when they see<br />
a beautiful pig in the<br />
yard, except it has a<br />
wooden leg. The buyer<br />
asks, “Why the wooden<br />
leg?” The farmer<br />
replies, “That pig is so<br />
smart, I let it drive the<br />
kids to school.”<br />
“Great, but why the<br />
wooden leg?”<br />
Lydia<br />
“The pig is so smart it<br />
has a degree in horticulture<br />
and philosophy.”<br />
“Amazing! But why the<br />
bloody wooden leg?”<br />
“Well when you have<br />
a pig that smart you<br />
don’t eat it all at once!”<br />
Doctors: Please show up 15 minutes early for your 8:00 appointment<br />
so your blood pressure will be elevated when we finally take it at 9:00.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 25
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