VV2

Would you consider dining on a New York City
subway platform during rush hour?
Sound like a terrible idea? Then why do we
frequent restaurants where the noise level exceeds a front row seat at a
Jimi Hendrix rock concert?
Because we have little choice. If you, like millions of others, engage
in what my friend
labelled “recreational
eating,” then what
you make for dinner
is a reservation.
And everyone
wants to sample the
hot new restaurant
in town. So, you call
and are fortunate to
be granted a table
for four by the young
hostess who sounds
like she’s doing you a
favor.
A month later, the
big night arrives. You
step inside and feel like you’ve just been transported onto the runway
of the world’s busiest airport!
Your table isn’t ready, so you wait at the bar. There, the exceptionally
loud sound of people trying to be heard is augmented by pulsating
music more conducive to disco dancing than to dining.
There’s nowhere to stand to avoid the music. Speakers are everywhere!
You feel as if your entire body is being assaulted. Because it is. Sound
is measured in units called decibels (dBs). The higher the dB number,
the louder the sound.
On a New York City subway platform the sound level is approximately
40
A Not-So-Joyful Noise
By: Susan Goldfein / Susan’s Unfiltered Wit
Genevieve Shines Once Again
February 2024
The fantastic,
beautiful
Genevieve
autographs her
show poster
last month. Her
performance
last month
at Sun City
MacDonald
Ranch can be
summed up
in one word:
Spectacular!
90 db. The sound level in your current situation is at least 85. Average
conversation is about 60dB.
It’s no wonder that the most frequently uttered word in modern
restaurants is “What?”
The hostess finds you just seconds before you enter a noise-induced
stupor. She escorts you to your table, and hands you the menu. You
think about asking if the venue provides ear plugs, but it seems unlikely.
Besides, she probably won’t be able to hear you. The sound at the
table is slightly less
than the bar, but
still risky for noiseinduced
hearing loss.
The waiter appears
and recites the
specials. Twice. Three
times. And you’re still
not sure if the fish of
the day is prepared
with almonds or
artichokes.
You don’t want
to gamble, so you
order from the menu.
Thank goodness
Apple thought to include a flashlight on the iPhone.
Attempting conversation, the four of you lean onto the table,
foreheads almost touching. You fiddle with your hearing aids to try to
drown out the background noise. The one who doesn’t wear hearing
aids wishes she did so that she could remove them.
Straining to be heard, you soon find yourselves competing with the
other diners in yell-talking. The meal is tasty, but you skip dessert. You
long to escape to the soothing lull of street noise.
Why are restaurants so noisy? Clearly, there’s been a shift in aesthetics.
Carpeting and soft seats have been replaced by metal and concrete and
very high ceilings.
Restauranteurs claim that soundproofing has gotten too expensive
for large spaces. Besides, noise equals excitement. Who wants to walk
into a room that is deadly quiet?
I get the latter argument. But surely, there must be some compromise
between eating amidst a herd of lawn mowers or the public library!
So, people, do we give up recreational eating or try to accommodate
to the new normal? One thing we might consider is abandoning yelltalking
and taking classes in lipreading.
Perhaps decide beforehand that we will communicate via texting
and eliminate the risk of laryngitis.
Or, we simply stay home, and hope that one day, the local senior
center will open for dinner.
Susan Goldfein’s newest book, Laughing My Way Through the
Third Stage, is available at Amazon.com, BN.com, Read her blog
at: www.SusansUnfilteredWit.com. Email Susan: SusanGoldfein@aol.com.