CHECK Berlin #3

ENGLISH
Psychology
everywhere. Loneliness and
rejection are the issues that
many of my clients struggle
with. A very big thing is not
being able to find a loving
partner. Of course, if you
look deeper, it is never a
problem on its own, rather
the result of many small
difficulties manifesting in
it. In conversations with my
clients we often find that
it is your own attitude that
makes you feel like you are
not accepted or loved. Sometimes
you don‘t even notice
that other people want
to be there for you and may
be interested in more than
just friendship. Often this is
a problem of not accepting
that you could be loved at
all. This naturally creates
problems in relationships. I
think many have already experienced
that a partner had
so many fears or problems
with themselves that the
partnership broke because
of that. On the one hand,
it‘s rejecting yourself, but
also the rejection within the
community that troubles
many.
Last year we shot the
mini-series “Queer4You” for
RBB, where, as part of a gay
team, I specifically helped
people in various areas of
life. Now I‘m shooting “Ganz
Schön Berlin” in a similar
format in which a young,
gay man also suffers from
exactly this problem. No
matter where he tries to
get closer, he is simply not
accepted in any community
within the gay scene.
Be it the bears, the leather
guys or the party people,
every community has its
own strict rules by which it
functions. And not everyone
is allowed in. We may pride
ourselves with tolerance,
but this young man has
seen nothing of that yet.
He‘s never even had a boyfriend
and he’s really not
unattractive. Many gay men
suffer a lot from this double
rejection, from society, but
also from their own community.
You have to pretend a lot
to be accepted. On the one
hand, in everyday life and at
work, in order to survive in a
somewhat adjusted manner.
And then in the various
niches in the gay scene,
where you have to adapt to
find friends. For anyone who
is a bit different, this really
is difficult to maneuver. One
solution to this can be to
put your own contentment
first. For many years, I didn‘t
feel I belonged anywhere,
never fit in, was generally
considered ugly and was
heartbroken. So, to this day,
I don‘t feel like I belong to
any gay community. When
everyone rejects you, it can
be very destructive. But you
can turn it around and value
it as absolute freedom. If
you don‘t fit in anywhere,
you don‘t have to adapt anywhere.
You can decide who
you are for yourself. And
when you get to that point,
the people who are a match
also come into your life. And
they stay. So rejection also
bears the opportunity for
personal development and
freedom.
Interview: Torsten Schwick
Sven Rebel
svenrebel.de
IG: coach_svenrebel
“GANZ SCHÖN BERLIN” CAN
BE SEEN IN THE ARD MEDIA
LIBRARY FROM CHRISTMAS
AND WILL ALSO BE BROAD-
CAST IN JANUARY.
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