Triffids Beard 2 - The Bearded Triffid

and deservedly so. The dry mathematical details are explained with wit and insight and the human drama
of Harrison's struggle with the bureaucratic powers that be (who were most reluctant to part with their
money) is sympathetically presented. I found the whole thing quite poignant, particularly after reading
the O'Brian novel in which the Juan Fernandez tragedy played such a central role.
A voyage of a different kind dominates Stephen Baxter's new novel. It is a parallel world story in which
John Kennedy does not die in Dallas. From this starting point, Baxter examines the politics and
technology of NASA in this new era and shows just what might have been accomplished in terms of the
space effort if only NASA had been able to draw on the kind of political support which took America to
the moon in 1969. The voyage of the title is a manned mission to Mars which takes place in 1985. The
novel is immaculately researched and presented. Every incident in it rings true, every character feels
real. The book held me enthralled from page one. This surely must be Baxter's magnum opus and if he
doesn't get showered with awards for it there is no justice.
The same cannot be said for the collaborative novel Encounter with Tiber in which real live
moonwalker Buzz Aldrin explores some rather trivial SF ideas. The book is enormously long and
monumentally boring. Every beginner's mistake imaginable is made. Heaven knows why John Barnes
didn't clean up Aldrin's prose. Maybe he was the junior partner. The Doppler effect is mentioned.
Immediately the story stops for a two page lecture on the physics of the Doppler effect. It is mentioned
that there might be ice in the craters of the lunar south pole. Everything halts again for an extended
lecture (complete with diagrams) of the moon's orbital mechanics and a discussion of how these
account for the prevailing conditions at the lunar poles. A message is received from aliens (surely an
exciting event!) but it is mentioned that the message appears to based on octal arithmetic and we are
off again on a tedious description of different number bases and how they work. The whole book is
nothing but lectures thinly interspersed with plot. And the lectures are unbelievably yawn-inducing,
peppered with jaw-cracking acronyms and irrelevant diversions. Dull, dull, dull.
Fortunately there is always Carl Hiaasen whose novels set in the concrete jungle that is Florida never fail
to provide humour, thrills and the occasional disgusting image. For example, in Double Whammy, one
of the villains is attacked by a pit bull terrier which sinks its fangs into his arm. He manages to kill the
dog, but the teeth remain buried in his flesh and he is forced to saw the head off the dog simply in order
to get away. He carries the head on his arm for a while and it rots and smells and his infected wounds
become gangrenous. In his fever and delirium, he renames the dog's head "Lucas" and he takes it for
walks and buys it cans of dog food and gets annoyed when it won't eat, so he forces the food into its
mouth with a spoon, where it rots and does his wounds no good at all. The whole thing sounds like
something Peter Jackson might have put into Bad Taste or Brain Dead. I cannot praise Carl Hiaasen
enough. Enormous fun, though gross.
Speaking of gross, have you ever heard of Shaun Hutson? I recently picked up several of his novels in
the Whitcoulls bargain bin, which should have given me a clue in itself. Hutson writes horror novels
whose sole purpose appears to be to gross out his readers. The books have no redeeming features at
all other than the appalling fascination of wondering how on earth he can possibly be more disgusting
than he was in the last book. If you like this sort of thing, you'll love Shaun Hutson.
WARNING!! THE INDENTED PARAGRAPH BELOW SHOULD NOT, I REPEAT NOT BE READ IF YOU ARE AT
ALL SENSITIVE. I AM NOT KIDDING, AND YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Start of exceedingly revolting paragraph:
My very favourite Shaun Hutson scene so far is a completely gratuitous episode in "Assassin" which
describes in great detail the sight, sound,smell and taste of oral sex with a rotting corpse who
ejaculates maggots.
End of exceedingly revolting paragraph.
To get back to normality, I was quite thrilled to come across If Ever I Return, Pretty Peggy-O which
was the first of Sharyn McCrumb's Appalachian novels. You may remember that I raved about these a