Triffids Beard 2 - The Bearded Triffid

forever, but they have recently been republished in an omnibus edition. It is called The Walled
Orchard, but it does in fact contain both books bound back to back and this is just as well for they tell
one continuous tale.
They are historical novels set in Periclean Athens. The story is told in the first person by Eupolis, a comic
playwright. It is the tale of his growing up through some of Athens' more troubled times, beginning with
the plague that wiped out much of the city in his youth and ending with a war that almost completely
eradicated the Athenian Army in his middle years. Eupolis was one of the few survivors of that debacle.
The erudition this novel demonstrates is nothing short of astonishing. All the intimate details of Athenian
life are exhibited. But this is no dull historical text. Holt brings the whole thing alive through the dry,
cynical wit of Eupolis, his narrator. This novel shows Holt to be capable of so much more than his light
comic novels would have you believe. The book is a stunning performance and demonstrates a breathtaking
narrative skill. I can only assume that on its original publication it simply didn't sell, thus requiring
Tom Holt to change his style and his material to something more lucrative. Let us hope that the second
time around (now that he is more well known) it will sell enough copies to encourage him to try this sort
of thing again, for there is no doubt that this area is where his real talents reside.
The next day being Sunday and therefore expensive, the plumber came to call.
"Tricky one this," he said pursing his lips as he glared at the cistern. It wasn't intimidated and it glared
right back.
"I wonder how they got it in?" the plumber mused as he took the top off the cistern. The wall is made of
wooden planks, tastefully varnished, and the cistern is recessed into the wall. The plumber scratched his
head. "I reckon they put the toilet in and then built the walls around it," he said. "Might have to rip all
them planks off again to get it out." The thought appeared to give him a certain gloomy pleasure.
He poked around inside the cistern and delivered a professional verdict. "It's buggered," he said. "You
need a new cistern."
It took a few phone calls, but a cistern was eventually obtained. A problem immediately presented itself.
The old cistern had a handle sticking out of the front. The new one had two buttons on the top.
"That's not going to fit," said the plumber in tones of deepest satisfaction. "If we put it in the hole in the
wall where the old one is there won't be enough room to get the top on. And you won't be able to reach
the buttons either."
The rather unfortunately titled Chicks in Chainmail is an anthology of short stories designed to
celebrate heroines cast in the mould of Xena the Warrior Princess with humour and style. Unfortunately
both humour and style are lacking in most of the stories. There are far too many references to breasts,
far too much authorial preening and nowhere near enough cleverness to justify the book. Most of the
writers are women, and you would have thought that they would have been able to write about their
own sex without sounding like sniggering, adolescent boys. However it would seem that they can't. The
only stories which exhibit any real maturity or originality are both by males. Roger Zelazny tells a mildly
amusing shaggy dog story and George Alec Effinger relates another tale in the saga of the swordswinging
Maureen Birnbaum.
With The Course of Honour, Lindsey Davis returns to her old stamping-ground of Vespasian's Rome
and tells the story of the love between the slave girl Caenis and Vespasian himself. Much of the
background, the geography and the politics of the era will already be familiar to readers of Davis' stories
of Falco, the Roman detective. But Falco has no part to play here. This is a pure historical novel, not a
genre tale wrapped in historical trappings.
She has not lost her touch. The broad sweep of politics and the personal stresses of a close relationship
make this an enthralling read.
After some discussion the plumber and I agreed that the new cistern would have to be mounted on the