Changeling - Players Guide.pdf

Boggans
Seelie Pooka: Silly fools waste too much time. All work
and no play make boggans dull boys. If only they could give a
hearty laugh from time to time, their bellies wouldn't stay so
jiggly. Pull their ears and make bubbles in their beers. Still they
only stare with indignation and shame. But for a good bit of
gossip, the boggan will listen to a joke and even pretend to
enjoy it. Then the fun is work and work is fun to the boggan.
Unseelie Pooka: It's a wonder these tinkering idiots stay out
of the Mists with as much time as they spend on mundane
trivialities. Nothing's as much fun as messing up what they have
cleaned or slipping a bit of oil into their mop water just to see them
slip and slide around before they fall. Oh, and they roll so well!
Eshu
Seelie Pooka: Don't be fooled by their serious demeanor. The
eshii loveagixxl prank as much as any —as long as the punchline
is money in their pockets. No matter. It's the thought that counts.
Besides, eshu tell wondrous, fantastic, incredible, chimerical tales.
Good enough to make one's ears twitch. Hangout with an eshu, and
adventure surely awaits just around the comer. An eshu's life for me!
Unseelie Pooka: To see the wonders of the world, hook up with
an eshu. If that's no good, just listen to their stories! But beware, for
an eshu's temper runs red-hot, and if the pranks get too personal
or too dangerous, they'll skin ya alive for it. No questions asked.
Nockers
Seelie Pooka: Why bother? These poor, lost souls crouch so
close to Banality that they love machines more than people. They're
gone, gone, gone. Piss-ants. They don't even fight the current. They
embrace it, claiming to love their mundane little monstrosities,
preferring to watch a lube job over a magical sunset. They spit sparks
and cry gasoline — if they ever actually cry, that is. Which is
doubtful. Don't understand them. And it's mutual. Why bother?
Unseelie Pooka: Hock-toooey! It's a conspiracy, that's
what it is. No way they're truly fae! They rank right up there
with soap operas and detergent commercials. I know why
they come around, to sap our Glamour, then turn around
and reinvest it in Banality. A crank shaft here, a crank shaft
there, here a shaft, there a shaft, everyone gets shafted!
Redcap
Seelie Pooka: Ow! Hot! Hot! Don't touch! Redcaps bite and
sting, especially the rare literate ones. They are nightmares made
manifest. Each one is on a mission to eat and destroy. Very
counterproductive. Although they do make for good shock value.
Hell of a way to wake up though, with a redcap in your face.
Unseelie Pooka: Well, they sure don't fit anyone's
concept of mundane, that's for sure, and I suppose ya gotta
give 'em credit for that. But, geez, guys, get a sense of humor!
Biting off fingers and faces isn't that original.
Outlook
Satyrs
Seelie Pooka: Ride 'em, cowboy! Yeehaw! Let's party, dude!
Their joy shines around them like dew on a bee's behind. An
inspiration to one and all. How could anyone find fault with the
satyrs? After all, they laugh at our jokes and join in our skits,
even if their only thought is to seduce the hero or heroine. Who
cares if their gaiety is purely self-centered ? Who minds that they
have no thoughts for anything but their own crotches? In the
end, they lift everyone's spirits, and that is enough to know.
Unseelie Pooka: I have yet to find one sad hair on a satyr
— and believe me, I've looked. Very refreshing. If joy were
a cow, the satyrs would be the udders. I love these folks!
Sidhe
Seelie Pooka: Of all the great actors, the sidhe win the
booby prize. So taken by themselves are they that they don't see
the satire in what they do. Oh-so-serious, yet they, with their
snotty manners and hoity-toity rules, produce the best comedy
of all. Step up, Monsieur Jourdain, bourgeois gentilhomme, and
take a bow. With snide comment and royal step you have slain
the audience, sent them rolling in the aisles, clutching their
guts and remembering why common is good.
Unseelie Pooka: Okay, so what if plaguing the sidhe is our
national pastime ? They deserve it. After all, their whole existence
is a joke. They can hand it out, but can they take it ? No. They take
it and take it and take it. Because we give it and give it and give
it. That's our jobs, and besides, they're too damn serious.
Sluagh
Seelie Pooka: Ay, yi, yi, yi. Canta no llores. For singing is
happy and happy is good. You'd be much more funny if only you
would. Cajones. It's too late. They're dead, Jim. Thank goodness
they keep to themselves. Let's hope they're not contagious.
Unseelie Pooka: The world is going to shit, and these
greasy schmucks are the flies. Even boggans are productive.
These slimy worms don't do a damn thing. They don't laugh;
they don't even get mad when you slip spiders down their
dresses. How can you have any fun with a cold fish? Blechhh.
Trolls
Seelie Pooka: It is strongly recommended that you stand
behind the trolls. Literally. Big and brawny, they'll go to the
mat for smaller, weaker, gentler, sweeter, funnier,
nicer...ahem...fae, like us. The best ally is a troll. Can't go
wrong. And sometimes, they even exhibit a sense of humor!
Unseelie Pooka: What can you say about trolls? They
hold grudges, and their revenge usually isn't very much fun.
They laugh at your pranks as long as they're directed at
someone else, aren't terribly humiliating, and don't occur
before they've had their first cup of coffee. I guess they're
okay... most of the time.