Autobiography

are, and fatal, brain condition known as alobar
holoprosencephaly, which prevents the
development of the embryo’s forebrain.
Jacqueline was led to believe that he would not
survive up to birth and therefore, instead of
having a selective termination which she
feared might harm Scarlett, she opted to let
things take their course. It was only after 30
weeks of her pregnancy that she discovered
that Alfie did have a chance of survival, if only
for a very short time. That is how it turned out,
leaving Jacqueline with the traumatic scenario
of bringing into the world a child who was
already fatally ill.
Scarlett is a beautiful blossoming baby girl who
has brought blazing sunshine into our lives, but
this also made the situation with Alfie even
harder to bear. While Scarlett was at home, he
needed 24-hour care at the Children’s Trust
hospice in Surrey. He had no brain activity
beyond the basic reflex actions, and also
suffered from muscle spasms and a degree of
pain which caused him to arch his back when
he was being held. We always knew he was
living on borrowed time and he died on
January 17 th 2010.
He was taken to his last resting place in a
white carriage, drawn by two white horses. His
hospice room had been decorated in a pirate
theme, so the horseman and attendees wore
pirates’ outfits. The love we had for him will
always be there.
But despite the highs and the lows of life that
have bonded my daughters together, both my
430