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fathers. And it <strong>to</strong>ok me a long time <strong>to</strong> underst<strong>an</strong>d the difference, because right is wrong,<br />
<strong>an</strong>d wrong is right, that's how you are programmed. Isn't it something, when you really<br />
think about it? I look back on it now, <strong>an</strong>d I c<strong>an</strong>not believe the ability they had <strong>to</strong> do <strong>to</strong><br />
my mind <strong>an</strong>d so m<strong>an</strong>y other survivors out there. To what degree they would go.<br />
Wayne Morris:<br />
Especially <strong>to</strong> children.<br />
Cisco Wheeler:<br />
At Inucurr<strong>an</strong> (sp) they had cages on the walls. <strong>The</strong>y put us in the cages <strong>an</strong>d the monkeys<br />
or the apes got <strong>to</strong> take care of us. We had three of them. One fed us, one beat us, <strong>an</strong>d<br />
one raped us <strong>to</strong> dehum<strong>an</strong>ize us.<br />
Wayne Morris:<br />
... God ... oh boy ...<br />
Cisco Wheeler:<br />
I still wake up <strong>an</strong>d here I am in my fifties <strong>an</strong>d when I was working on my memories at<br />
Inucurr<strong>an</strong> (sp) in the cages -- well see, whatever they w<strong>an</strong>t in the system -- if they w<strong>an</strong>t<br />
a particular part in the mind <strong>to</strong> be a particular something they had <strong>to</strong> set the stage for<br />
that <strong>to</strong> come about.<br />
Wayne Morris:<br />
So that they are m<strong>an</strong>ipulating a particular context <strong>to</strong> achieve a certain end ...<br />
Cisco Wheeler:<br />
Yes, a certain image within the mind. A child has creativity but they have <strong>to</strong> give us the<br />
creativity from which <strong>to</strong> work from because you have <strong>to</strong> underst<strong>an</strong>d that the mind is<br />
protected by the family in that it is hidden within itself, like a box within itself -- boxes<br />
<strong>an</strong>d boxes, m<strong>an</strong>y boxes <strong>an</strong>d each box has a family within the mind or it's all set up like a<br />
grid. A 13x13 grid <strong>an</strong>d 13 deep, so your hidden parts get no influence from or <strong>to</strong> the<br />
outside world. When I came out in<strong>to</strong> the world <strong>an</strong>d I met Fritz, I had never known what<br />
the world was. I had the freedom of knowing how <strong>to</strong> go <strong>to</strong> the grocery s<strong>to</strong>re or where<br />
was it or what was it. I didn't know because I was only programmed <strong>to</strong> do what they<br />
w<strong>an</strong>ted me <strong>to</strong>. <strong>The</strong>y would wake me up, give me my programs, put me on the right track<br />
as <strong>to</strong> where they w<strong>an</strong>ted me <strong>to</strong> be. I would go do what they w<strong>an</strong>ted me <strong>to</strong> do, as soon as<br />
I did it, back <strong>to</strong> sleep I went. I had no influence.<br />
When Fritz <strong>to</strong>ld me that I had a family <strong>an</strong>d a mother that was still living I thought the<br />
m<strong>an</strong> was crazy. Here's something else that will just throw you for a loop -- I have seven<br />
gr<strong>an</strong>dchildren, that me<strong>an</strong>s I have three children of my own that are grown. When he<br />
introduced me <strong>to</strong> my son when he was thirty (he's a pilot) out of courtesy I just said, well<br />
it's very nice <strong>to</strong> meet you in my mind. Afterwards I <strong>to</strong>ld Fritz, you are absolutely crazy.<br />
You think I'm crazy -- you guys, you've had it. You're telling me I am programmed as a<br />
kitten, a sex kitten, <strong>an</strong>d when I look in the mirror I see a porcelain face, a kitten's face,<br />
<strong>an</strong>d I am 17 years old <strong>an</strong>d I am not supposed <strong>to</strong> age. When you look at me <strong>an</strong>d I am fifty<br />
years old, <strong>an</strong>d you look at me <strong>an</strong>d take a picture of me I am 17. I still look 17, but the<br />
point is I was so <strong>to</strong>tally 100% programmed that when Fritz w<strong>an</strong>ted <strong>to</strong> give me the truth<br />
about what happened <strong>to</strong> my life, my mind couldn't even receive it because I had so much<br />
programming. It <strong>to</strong>ok me two years <strong>to</strong> realize I wasn't a kitten before I believed him.<br />
Two years of hard work every single day <strong>to</strong> break down the lies. That's how strong my<br />
defense was. I looked at all these kids <strong>an</strong>d this is what I said <strong>to</strong> Fritz: "Fritz you are<br />
absolutely crazy. You expect me <strong>to</strong> believe that this is my son. You are telling me that<br />
my son is thirty years old. I have no recall. I didn't carry him." I didn't remember him<br />
when he played as a child. I had no identity with this child whatsoever, that's how dark it<br />
was inside my world. I said, "He's thirty years old, <strong>an</strong>d I am seventeen -- wait a minute<br />
here Fritz, something doesn't add up. You're crazy. You expect me <strong>to</strong> bite that apple?<br />
And I'm going <strong>to</strong> bite it <strong>an</strong>d I'm going <strong>to</strong> believe this, right?" That's the way the mind is.<br />
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