Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

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questions. Colombians have many different ways to ask this question, and often use them one after
another. 2) Questions about how family members are doing. 3) Comments about physical appearance,
which sometimes include allusions to one’s weight, generally intended as a complement on one’s
healthy look.
Communication style: As previously mentioned, Colombians are much more indirect than Canadians,
and a very direct communication style is often considered offensive. This indirect communication style
is intended to protect relationships. For Canadians that are used to a direct communication style, the
value of indirect communication for protecting relationships can be hard to grasp at first. For instance, for
Colombians, “I’ll see if I can do it” or “I’ll try” will almost always mean “no.” While Canadians may interpret
this answer as insincere or dishonest, for Colombians it is just the opposite. Answering “I’ll try” is simply
a way to soften the harsh “no” imbedded within their answer, which in itself would be offensive. Other
Colombians will understand exactly what is meant, and not be offended. However, when one responds
“I’ll try” to the request of a person who is truly in need, the “I’ll try” will likely be understood as genuine.
These dynamics can be confusing - reading body language and context is important. Another example
is that Colombians may talk about making plans with friends or acquaintances with no immediate
or specific intention of actually doing so. It is more important to be polite and show interest in the
relationship by sounding like you really would like to get together rather than to say “I can’t” or “I don’t
think it will work out.” Likewise, it is more acceptable to cancel out on plans at the last minute in Colombia
than in Canada. For a Colombian, “I’ll call you later” is often just a platitude while for a Canadian it is a
promise.
Although indirect, Colombians can become very animated while talking. Don’t confuse this animation
with aggression, it isn’t the same thing.
Confrontation is avoided at all costs. If a friend has made a mistake Colombians will not expose it publicly,
as that would cause public embarrassment and a ruined relationship.
Personal space: Colombians are comfortable with much less personal space than Canadians. While it is
common for Colombians to stand or sit as little as one foot apart while conversing, most Canadians will
find this uncomfortably close. It would be unusual for Colombians to choose to sit across the room from
one another for the purposes of a good visit. In the context of Canadian personal space Colombians may
feel uncomfortably far away from one another.
In conversations is is common for physical contact to take place. To reach out and touch the arm or
shoulder or even hand of the person you are talking with is common, especially between women.
The concept of “what is yours is also mine” is commonly held in Colombia between friends and family
members, and borrowing of clothes or other items may take place without asking for prior permission.
As an example, Colombians tend to be more comfortable than Canadians when it comes to drinking out
of the same bottle or even eating utensils.