Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

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w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r 77 RECONNECTION Rebuilding lives and futures and recreating meaning in life: As mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, there are three key elements in the process of returning to equilibrium after surviving a traumatic event: establishing safety and stabilization, remembrance and mourning, and reconnection. This section will take a closer look at ways the the church can support the refugee family in their process of reconnection - rebuilding their lives and future. What follows is a series of ideas for activities that the church can do with the refugee family or encourage the family to do themselves. The suggestions have been clustered into different topics based on aspects of life that have been found to be helpful for refugees as they reconnect and rebuild their lives. 24 In order for the refugee family to continue on the path to integration rather than marginalization (see the Phases of Refugee Adjustment, p 30), it is important for the church to support the family in at least some of these ways shortly after their arrival in Canada. Explore different options to find out which ones the family responds to - just because a certain suggestion or activity doesn’t work for the family doesn’t mean they don’t want to connect. Building and sustaining relationships: Forming and maintaining healthy relationships with others is essential to restoring dignity, value and meaning to a refugee’s life. The church community can and does play an invaluable role in helping refugees create and maintain healthy social connections. The formation of sincere friendships between members of the congregation and the refugee family may well be the most restorative gift that the church can offer the refugee family. The words of a Colombian refugee demonstrate how essential and life-giving relationships with sponsors are: “Listen to us, accompany us, build relationships, know how we are doing, how we feel, greet us, give us hugs. Help us to feel welcomed, as though we are at home.” - Ana 24. The suggestions in section have been adapted from Helping Refugee Trauma Survivors in the Primary Care Setting, by David R. Johnson, MD, MPH, (2005) Minneapolis, MN: Centre for Victims of Torture, www.ctv.org
78 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r Colombian Refugees share their experiences in recovering from trauma and finding meaning: “Doing my job as a newscaster and journalist with enormous quality, with up-to-date details, and expressing myself in a positive and understandable way gave me great satisfaction in Colombia. I was happy because the people admired and appreciated me. I had a lot of great friendships and I was known all over the country. Here in Canada I participate in a Vallenato Orchestra. I distract myself a bit, meet up with other people, lose myself in the music. I play accordion even though I never played it before - but I can do it! I’m also the referee for a Latin American football league. It’s a good way to get recreation. Next year I’m going to be secretary for the league to help them with organization, statistics, so they can see how the games are going - who is the best player, who is winning. Other things that help me feel satisfied are my work, my studies, and doing everything that I do to my very best.” - Carlos “First of all it is one’s family that makes you feel alive, that supports you and gives you ideas. Second are your friends, and third is being able to study and move ahead with life.I don’t think I’ve gotten to the stage of feeling satisfaction in my life in Canada yet. First of all we are hoping to find satisfaction in being able to speak English - to feel much better and be able to go out. Later we would like to enter university and finish our studies, and later be able to have a good job and for my family to be independent.” - Jorge Some ideas that have worked well for building these relationships include organizing different families from the church who will be willing to invite the family over for dinner or take them on outings around town and celebrate birthdays, important holidays and other special occasions together. Ensure that refugee youth are included in church youth group activities and plug the refugee parents into a weekly care group, small group or Bible study. Showing a genuine interest in the refugee family as people (not victims) and friends is often all it takes to construct relationships that are lifegiving on both sides, and could carry on long after the sponsorship is over. Other ideas for forming social connections include helping the refugee family connect with local cultural organizations, community support groups, refugee organizations or other community groups such as community or church sports teams or community music or dance groups. Keep in mind that Colombian refugees may not always want relationships with other Colombians. Before you arrange for the refugee family to meet other Colombians in your community that they don’t have a prior relationship with, check in with the family to find out how they feel about this. Because of the complex nature of the armed conflict, victims of different groups may look at one another with suspicion - Colombian refugees will not automatically trust one another. Many Colombian refugees in Canada end up feeling more comfortable and building supportive relationships with people from other Latin American countries rather than with other Colombians. Clearly, challenges will be present, the obvious ones being language and cultural differences. Even though a language barrier may exist, the refugee family will feel loved and appreciated by the efforts the church makes to include them, even when sign language may be the only means of communication at first. An ongoing challenge that refugees face in building social
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WALKING TOGETHER: Healing and Hope
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Shalom Wiebe serv
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Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

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