Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

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w a l k i n g
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Refugees are trauma survivors, not just victims. As you converse with the refugee family about their
experiences, think of them as survivors. Verbally affirm their strengths (courage, resiliency, faith) rather
than allowing yourself to pity them as victims. Yes, they have gone through experiences that are much
more traumatic than what the average person experiences in a lifetime, however they are also typical
people just like yourself, with great strength, determination and abilities.
Remind yourself that simply listening may be one of the greatest and most healing gifts that you can
offer a refugee when they are ready to share about their past. Often the best response is to acknowledge
their pain and their strength and express your thankfulness and sense of honour at being entrusted with
their story. Assure them that you will always be willing to listen anytime they want to talk again.
Because of the effects that extreme trauma has on memory, don’t be surprised if the refugee’s story
doesn’t come out in chronological order, if there seem to be gaps in the story, or if you feel as though the
refugee presents different “versions” of the story at different times. Most trauma survivors can’t present
precise accounts of what happened, and many remember events differently on different occasions. The
fact that there may appear to be inconsistencies in their story is not reason to be suspicious of its truth. It
is perfectly normal that survivors of war crimes - considered by many to be unspeakable acts - may not
be able to remember or put into words everything that has happened to them.
As the conversation develops, check with the refugee to find out how they are feeling. Allow breaks and
slow down the conversation if it is getting overly accelerated. Offering something to drink can be a good
way to pause or slow down.
Let the refugee know that you have some understanding of the history and context of their country, of
the effects of war and of the experience of refuge. Be prepared to help put the refugee’s problems into
their historical and political context. Without justifying anything that they have experienced, explain to
them that human rights violations such as displacements, threats, torture and killings are strategic and
intentional political tools that are carried out with the goal of obtaining power and resources.
Admitting one’s problems can bring feelings of shame and even guilt to the refugee. If you can, use
pamphlets or other information in Spanish to help the refugee understand that their problems are
normal, common and expected responses to unnatural situations, and that they are temporary and
solvable. Let the refugee know that seeking help and treatment is not only normal, but something that
they deserve. Show your support in helping them find the right person to talk to, be it a spiritual leader,
counsellor, other people who have had similar experiences or even a traditional healer.
After the Conversation: As the conversation about traumatic past events comes to a close, remember
to allow time for closure, since the conversation may have been distressing for the refugee, potentially
having re-opened old wounds. Since the refugee will be alone with their thoughts and memories after
you leave, it is important to find ways to wind down a conversation about trauma, rather than leaving
the conversation at a place where it was focused on the trauma. Talk about the survivor’s strengths,
and perhaps take some time to talk about regular topics, such as the day’s activities. Before ending the